dependence on God

Learning to Respect My Limits

Learning to Respect My Limits

Limits. I hate them. I push them. I want to believe I am a superwoman who has no limits. And then every once in awhile (more frequently in recent years) God pulls me aside and reminds me that I do in fact have limits, and that they are good. I should respect them.

I sat down to write about this recently, and realized I already had about a year ago, on my friend Dayle’s blog (see what I mean about God reminding me over and over?). So here is what He continues to teach me:

Our dog Scout begins her daily exercise like her tail’s on fire. We’ve resorted to biking her – walking is just not her pace. Still, she runs so fast out of the gate that she can pull us. I watch her and think, “That can’t be comfortable. She’s choking herself.” Yet many times, toward the end of the ride, I am the one having to urge her along. I can only bike so slowly before falling over, after all. If only she had paced herself.

I’m just like her though. I am not a respecter of my own limits. Physical, mental, emotional – I push them all. I have a lot of passion and ambition, and those are good things, except when they lead me to strain at the leash and pull in directions God isn’t leading me. And the natural consequence? I run out of steam.

If only Scout knew that I know how far we are going every day. Then she might trust my pace. If we’re taking the short route, it’s fine for her to run faster, but we’re usually taking the long back road and it’s not for sprinting.

If only I would trust that God knows where He’s taking me. He knows how far we’re going. He knows the limits He has given me and wants me to live within them. He knows that if only I kept His pace the journey would be so much more pleasant for both of us. If only I would take the time each day to listen to what He has for me, and agree that it is good, and it is enough, and that the tasks that won’t get done will be the path for another day.

Galatians 5:25 says, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” I need Him to show me step by step, moment by moment where the boundaries are for me, and I need to walk humbly and obediently in them, trusting that the good shepherd knows me and knows my way.

What about you. Are you keeping pace with Him?

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The Soul Needs

The Soul Needs
photo by Gina Butz

My husband traveled 4 out of the first six weeks of this year. I’ve built up some pretty strong “traveling husband” muscles over the years, but I have to admit it wore me down. I felt needy.

I don’t like to feel needy. Needy feels small and weak and helpless, which is scary. It feels vulnerable. What if no one wants to help me? What if they look down on me for my neediness?

Needy gets a bad rap in our world. We glorify people who are strong, self-sufficient, wildly capable, not a “burden.” We are impressed with them. You know who isn’t? God.

I have searched scripture, and never once have I found a verse where God says something to the effect of, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have managed to pull yourself up by your own boot straps and to rely on no one, not even Me! I’m proud of you for not asking anyone to step in and minister to you in your weakness. Enter your rest, you’ve earned it!”

Which is such a bummer, because I’m really good at all of that.

We tend to respond to tough situations by working harder, toughing it up, slogging through, as though God gives us tough circumstances to see how strong we can be. He doesn’t. He wants to bring us to weakness. He wants us to own our neediness.

Neediness doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we’re human.

What always gets me about Jesus is his humanity. He got tired. Hungry. Lonely. Overwhelmed. He knew need. He knew hard. He calls us to own our humanity as He did.

So I’m learning, in those needy times, to say it out loud. Not to complain about it, but to call it what it is. And to invite others in to walk with me.

I’ve written about a lot of the needs of the soul, but the bottom line that we have to own is that the soul is needy. Period. The end. It looks different on different days, but the fact is: We have needy souls.

It’s how He made us. And the beauty of it is that we can answer each others’ needs with love and grace. This is the gift we have in the fellowship of believers.

[ictt-tweet-inline]Is your soul needy today? Bring it to Jesus. [/ictt-tweet-inline]Bring it to others. The soul needs. It’s meant to need. And others are meant to meet it.

“Carry each others’ burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Related:

Embracing Weakness

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The Fight Belongs to Him

The Fight Belongs to Him

We are at war, and I am a lousy general.

There are issues in the world worth fighting for: the hearts and minds of our kids, strong family ties, justice for the oppressed, basic human rights.

I don’t stop there though – I have all kinds of ambitious ideas, expectations and goals for myself, my family, my world. I approach them as hills to be conquered.

I am a fighter. I’ve never been one to sit on the sidelines (remember, I’m the overly enthusiastic sideline coach). The problem is that my weapons are not effective.

I fight in my own strength.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty strong woman. I am, by most standards. That’s my downfall.

When I see these issues around me that I want to change, I tackle them with all my might and wrestle them to the ground. I come at them with my best arguments, lofty goals, high energy, intentionality.

What looks like fierceness is often nothing more than a fearful attempt to control the outcome of a situation.

If I just keep trying and try hard enough, I can conquer them, right? Right? Tell me I’m right.

I’m wrong. These problems are bigger than me. They take more than I have. Others are simply not my battle to fight; they’re my ideas, not God’s. Most of them are spiritual battles, led by an enemy bent on our destruction. Who am I against that?

[ictt-tweet-inline]I’m picking the wrong weapons and the wrong battles.[/ictt-tweet-inline]

I am not meant for this war, but He is. Lately, I’ve been convicted of my need to lay down my feeble weapons and turn to His power. He sees the true battles and sees them better than I do. He knows what it takes, and He has it. He knows what must be hard fought and what is not meant to be.

My best weapon is not inside me but in praying the fight back to Him, trusting that He will do what needs to be done.

[ictt-tweet-inline]He wants to fight for me. My job is to step back and let Him.[/ictt-tweet-inline]

Do I stop fighting altogether? No. There are some problems worth pounding the table about. But there are some hills that I am not meant to climb. Those I leave to God.

I want to fight as one who knows her place as a lowly foot soldier, trusting in my commanding officer’s weapons, wisdom, guidance and strength, not my own. I want to follow His orders on when and where to fight, and with what. The battle is the Lord’s.

“The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.” Exodus 14:14

Related posts:

I Don’t Need Rescuing (Except I Do)

Soldier On, Friends

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Faith Like a Child

Faith Like a Child

I’ll never forget asking our friend’s four-year-old son to make a wish before blowing out the candles on his birthday cake. Without hesitating, he took a deep breath and said, “I wish I could fly!”

Kids. They ask audaciously. They’re aware of their wants and needs and not afraid to express them. They’re helpless and weak and innocent and foolish and humble.

And to enter the kingdom we’re supposed to be like them.

Being the Adults

I’m an “oldest child” if there ever was one, though ironically, I’m not the oldest. Having an older sister who is mentally challenged thrust me into the role early and hard. It was part of God’s story for me.

But being that oldest, responsible, self-sufficient, trustworthy kid meant I took on a mentality of being the one no one had to worry about. I took care of myself. I was good at it. And I took the same attitude with God. I decided I’d be the one He didn’t have to worry about. I thought I was doing Him a favor. I wasn’t.

Being Like Children

We’re meant to relate to God as children. Helpless, weak, foolish, humble, needy children. Those are not the qualities I most like to exhibit in my life. In fact, they are the ones I am most inclined to avoid. Can I get an amen? Is it only me? Is this thing on?

Lately, God’s been calling me back to this place as a beloved child. He’s reminding me that it’s not only ok to own those places of weakness and mess and need, it’s necessary. It’s when I’m weak that He is strong. It’s in my needs that I find His sufficiency. It’s in my mess that I find the unconditional love I seek.

And from that position of humility, He calls us to ask. Be audacious. Be bold. Tell Him you want a pony. You want to fly. When I’m in that place where I know I don’t have it together, I am incompetent for the task at hand, I am reminded that it doesn’t matter because my Abba is more than enough. He delights to give good gifts to His children. Make a wish.

Me, age 4.

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Cease Striving

I’ve never been one for being quiet or still. My mom loves to tell stories of my propensity to crawl, climb, walk, at an early age, and of a 2-year-old Gina marching into Sunday School singing, “Have faith, hope and charity, that’s the way to live successfully!” One memorable report card from 2nd grade lauds my sociability with other kids, my willingness to participate in class discussions. It ends, though, with the downside, “Gina needs to learn to be quiet in class.”

No, I’m not much for quiet and still. I like to be on the move. I like to communicate. I tend to live my life at high speeds of taking in information, accomplishing all that I can, seeking opportunities to express myself.

Cease striving, and know that I am God might have been written just for me.

I need to have it phrased that way, “Cease striving.” It packs more of a divine reprimand for me that just “be still.” When I think of “be still” I imagine something that is already at rest and is being asked to just stay. “Cease striving” speaks more to my MO. I strive. Oh how I strive.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe it’s part of how God made me, this inclination toward activity. It’s something I like about myself, the high capacity to do the things that interest me. The danger comes when my activity and my own chatter silence the voice of God, when I use my actions and my voice to try to find life apart from God, to make things happen in my ways and in my time.

Lately, I’ve been doing that. In my desire to find my place in this new chapter of life, I want to run ahead of God. I want to make noise so that I am seen and heard, recognized and approved. I don’t want to rest in His ways or His timing, but that is exactly what He is asking me to do. He’s asking me to cease trying to make life happen according my ideas, to stop looking for life apart from Him.

There’s actually a great relief that comes in being reminded of that. I am His. He knows what He’s doing with me. I just need to cease striving and let Him be God in my life.

What about you? Are you striving today?

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Ring! Ring! Guest post on my friend Dayle’s blog

One of the people God has blessed me with in the last few years is a wonderful woman named Dayle. She is quite possibly the most encouraging person I know. It seems to be impossible for me to talk to her and not walk away feeling infused with wisdom and joy, refocused on God. In short, she makes me feel like a rock star. A rock star who loves Jesus.

She recently asked if I would post on her blog, so I thought I would direct you there to read it, but while you’re there, linger. She sees God in everyday life and shares honestly from the heart. I know you’ll be encouraged!

Dayle’s Blog

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