truth

Perfect Peace

Did you know that if you say you’re having chest pains at the ER, you get in immediately? So you could say, “I broke my arm. And also, I’m having chest pains,” and you’d be at the front of the line. I will warn you, though, chest pains will result in lots of expensive testing. You need to decide how much money that time you just saved is worth to you. Your call.

I know this, because that’s what I did this morning. I’ll skip to the punch line and declare that my victory of the day is not dying from a heart attack at the age of 40!

Well, I could stop there, but the bigger victory for me is the way God led me to respond to this emergency. Around 7:30 this morning I started experiencing pain in the right side of my chest. Taking deep breaths hurt a lot, which caused, naturally, shortness of breath. My inhaler didn’t seem to do much so we sent the kids to school with someone else (shout out to my awesome friend Jenny for stepping in with 10 minutes to get ready!) and Erik took me to the ER.

As we were arranging all this, and googling, “heart attack symptoms women,” I started to be very fearful, panicked really. (FYI panicking when you are having trouble breathing is a poor choice). We climbed in the car and started driving, and I started to pray. That was when God reminded me of Isaiah 26:3-4, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, for he trusts in you. Trust in him at all times, O people, for the Lord, the Lord is the rock eternal.”

And right there was my victory, and it was all God. Because as I read those words over and over, I just felt held in his perfect peace. Whatever happened, I was in his hands.

So as we spent 4 hours in the emergency room getting my blood test, chest X-ray, and CT scan, I was at peace, because he kept me there. And you know what? It all turned out exactly the same way that it would have had I gone into it with fear. Except everyone had a much more enjoyable experience because Gina stressed is not a blessing to anyone.

They don’t know what happened. They suspect, and so do I, that it was something muscular that caused my chest, then back, then neck to tense up and constrict my breathing. This is wonderful justification for me to have regular massages to keep my muscles relaxed. I’d rather do them for $4 on the beach in Thailand with a lime drink in my hand, but I’ll take what I can get.

Where did you see victory today?

Continue ReadingPerfect Peace

Talking to Myself

Ok, here goes. I can tell already that this is going to be a good challenge for me, if for no other reason than that it makes me think about it all day. This detracts from me thinking about other, less important things, like where I could find some chocolate or whether or not my hair is behaving.

I also have the feeling though that the things I will be led to call victories will require a higher degree of transparency than I might typically want to display on a regular basis. Yikes!

Take today, for example. This morning, my husband and I were asked to share for a few minutes at the day of prayer about faith. I’d been thinking about what to say for a few days and felt confident of what I should say. In the few minutes before we were going to speak, though, I started getting nervous.

So I asked myself why I would be anxious, and the answer is: this was one of the first times I was speaking to these people. I wanted them to like me. No, if I’m honest it’s more than that – I wanted them to think well of me and be impacted by what I said. I wanted them to be impressed, to find me valuable.

When I realize things like that, I can get discouraged. I don’t like that I care so much about what others think, about the image I portray. But I’m learning to take those desires at face value and say, “I get why you feel that way, but Gina, it doesn’t matter what people think. What matters is that you say what God has put on your heart. He has already established your value. This changes nothing.”

So I had that little internal pep talk with myself, right there in the second row, took a deep breath, and relaxed. And right there, that’s what I’m calling victory.

What can you call victory today?

Continue ReadingTalking to Myself

I Am an Israelite

As a family, we’ve been reading the Bible in a year together. At the same time, the church we’ve been attending is going through something called The Story, which is a 30 week overview of the Bible. We decided to throw in The History Channel’s The Bible series for good measure. We are immersed.

One of the things that always gets me when I read the Old Testament is how the Israelites can seem so dense. I mean, seriously – God parts the Red Sea for you to walk through, and about a minute later you’re complaining that you want to go back to Egypt?

He provides food out of nowhere, but still you must grumble?

The leader goes away for a little while and you decide the best option is to make a farm animal out of perfectly good jewelry to worship?

So fickle. So quick to forget. So untrusting.

So much like me.

Sigh. The truth is, I am an Israelite. I have seen God do amazing things in my lifetime, both around me and in me. But give me a new circumstance, a new place in life, and I too often forget what God has done and who He is.

I look at myself, my own resources, my lack, and I lose heart.

That is what I have done these last few weeks, and it has not been pretty, my friends. Not. Pretty.

Isn’t that what the Israelites did? They took their eyes off who God is and looked at their circumstances through their own eyes. God didn’t change – their perspective did. They just plain forgot who they were dealing with.

Which is why Moses, in Deuteronomy, tells them about 100 times “do not forget the Lord.”

Remember what He has done.

Remember who He is.

That same God who parted the Red Sea? He’s with you in your move. He’s going ahead of you to find that house. He’s here in Orlando. He’s got plans for you.

When I realized this a couple of days ago, I took some time to sit down, confess it to God, and to remind myself of who He is.

He is good, He sees me, He is able, He is love. It doesn’t matter the circumstances, it matters who we’re looking at to take care of them.

Continue ReadingI Am an Israelite

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