Monthly Archives: December 2012

Project 365 December

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When I started this project at the beginning of the year, I was hoping it would improve my photography and give me a great record of what I knew would be an epic year in the life of the Butz family. It was a lot of fun at first and I got some good shots from it, but there were a lot of days when I would sit in a chair and think, “Is there anything I am currently viewing which is picture worthy? No? Then forget it.” As you can see from below, I have resorted to standing on my deck many nights to capture the back woods. They’re an easy target.
I confess I’m feeling lazy and don’t plan to put these in any kind of order. Suffice to say they were taken some time this month. Ta da! Done. 🙂
The view from our driveway looking south. Ish.
Love the light through the pines
Yeah, you’ve seen several of these. This is the lake two blocks from  the house which I posted a few days ago.
Scout found mud on her flight of freedom.
Oh, so THAT’S the color of the driveway!
Fling me daddy!
Sunrise on a morning run (obviously I had stopped running at the moment)
The house! You can see it better now that we cut down the tree in the middle.
Fun with the power washer
Her new playground
Christmas dinner with the Brennas
The aftermath of family Christmas
So this is what it looks like if you walk into the woods and look up
playing around with a long exposure shot so our kids look like ghosts
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Nope, it really wasn’t warm enough
Haircuts! Three of them
Golf cart parade. Yep. Seriously.
The moon likes to rise right behind our woods
See what I mean? This was a long exposure shot
And another one. Moonlight through the trees.
Why do homework inside in your clothes when you can be outside in your pajamas? In the hammock no less.
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Continue ReadingProject 365 December

Feed on Faithfulness

 

Do not let the current state of our house fool you.

Though people who visit express astonishment at how “settled” everything looks, mine is not a settled heart. Perhaps our zeal to get the house in order quickly is partly a way to occupy our hearts. It distracts them, and makes them think they are settled too.

It’s also evidence that this isn’t our first rodeo. We know we’d rather go great guns at the beginning rather than drag out the process of unpacking and decorating.

Truth be told, my heart feels untethered. Lost. I miss knowing and being known. I remember now Ethan’s “my heart is tired of all the new things.” The new things make my heart feel like it’s climbing a mountain. The last few days I’ve let myself linger in these feelings a little more, shed some tears.

I search the scripture for some balm. What I really want is for something to make it all go away – something to satisfy my need to feel found, rooted, known. Part of me knows I am all these things in God, but feelings don’t so quickly follow reality. I hope He will give me something more.

What I find is not satisfaction but hope. Psalm 37:3 says, “dwell in the land and feed on faithfulness.” I know that for my heart to move toward satisfaction it will take courage, faith, endurance, and lots of time.

In the meanwhile, I feed on His faithfulness to me. I recall the transitions of my life and I have hope. He has proved Himself good to us again and again. He is El Roi, the God Who Sees. Jehovah Jireh, the One Who Provides. Immanuel, God With Us. I will feed on this.

“At an acceptable time, O God . . . answer me in your saving faithfulness.” Psalm 69:13

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Continue ReadingFeed on Faithfulness

Looking for friends

Boxes unpacked, check. (if I just don’t open the office door).

Walls painted, mostly check.

Nearest grocery store, Walmart, Target located, check.

Invisible fence installed, check.

Find new friends . . . oy.

Truth be told, I am an introvert. A talkative introvert, which causes no small amount of dissonance for me, but an introvert nonetheless. I am tempted to say, “Hey, I’ve got a couple good friends here in Orlando. I’m calling it good!” But that seems horribly shortsighted and unsociable, so I did what I guess the average American woman does this time of year and I went to a neighborhood cookie exchange.

After a few desperate, somewhat humbling texts to a new neighbor clarifying that I did not, in fact, have to bring actual cookies (I hate sugar cookies. I’m a bar kind of girl), I headed out to the party. It was only a block and a half away, and as I walked, I pondered my emotions. I was dreading small talk and the inevitable shock and awe when I explain my life. I was nervous that I wouldn’t fit in, that people wouldn’t want to talk to me, that I wouldn’t meet anyone I liked. I was excited that I might meet someone who could become a good friend. In short, I felt like a kindergartener on the first day of school (although I imagine the average five year old brings little to the table that evokes shock or awe).

There were probably 50 women at this event! Most of them were older than me. A few homeschool as well. Most seemed to attend this annual party regularly. Almost everyone talked about how much they love living in our neighborhood (certainly a good sign).

I walked away knowing a couple women a little more, bearing invites to a clothing swap and a regular wine and cheese chat with a couple girls down the street, and wielding a large plate of cookies. I can’t say I can check the box on “new friends” (I realize now a part of me was really hoping it would be that easy) but it was a step in the right direction.

Continue ReadingLooking for friends

Now What?

My extended family is currently heading north through Florida on their way back to the chilly midwest, and we’re left asking, “Now what?’

Up until now, we’ve been in a process of going somewhere. Our last months in China were preparation for getting everything from that side of the world to this one. This whole fall has been a time of waiting for all of that to get here. We were living in limbo.

But now we’re here. The waiting is done. Now we’re supposed to start doing life like we normally do, except I have no idea how. There’s no rhythm, no routine.

Oh sure, we’re figured out a few things, like the fact that we need to learn how to stock up when we’re “in town” because the nearest store is 15 minutes away. We’ve got running routes determined around the neighborhood which does wonders for getting us going in the morning (and for the dog!). We have food in the refrigerator and laundry running. We’re functioning.

But I look at Megan’s new guitar and think, “She needs guitar lessons. I don’t know where to find a guitar teacher.” Ethan wants to join soccer. Where? And where is the library? Our kids ask me daily, “What are we doing today?” and I don’t how to answer them. Who do they play with and when? And who do I get to play with? I don’t have a “this day we do this” mentality yet (and if you know me, you know that structure is my very good friend).

Yes, it’s all a little overwhelming, but nothing we haven’t done before. It’s just a new wave of transition, a bigger one, that will be a bit harder to ride.

So I take a deep breath and say, “One day at a time. We’re going to figure this out.”

Continue ReadingNow What?

IKEA . . . or . . . Excuse Me, Can I Follow You?

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Trust IKEA to be my cultural undoing again. I successfully navigated my way there today to find a few things for our house that I simply cannot find anywhere else, like all the shelf hooks that are missing from our IKEA bookshelf. They must have decided to head back to Sweden instead of migrating here with us.

It wasn’t as unnerving as the other time I’ve been there in the US, possibly because there were more people. There still weren’t enough Asians though. Every time I saw one, I literally felt more at ease. Something about seeing Asian faces made me feel like everything was right with the world. I was tempted even to follow them around the store like a creepy stalker. If I were emotionally less stable right now I probably would have, but thankfully I’m doing ok. I settled for just being happy whenever I saw them.

On the other hand, I was also cheered by the fact that I could read all the signs and that the meatballs are cheaper here.

Continue ReadingIKEA . . . or . . . Excuse Me, Can I Follow You?

Project 365 November

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Ok, so this month I wanted to try harder to take a picture every day again, but at the same time I had to pack up all our belongings, including everything of ours that’s been at my parents’ house for over a decade while we were overseas, and drive cross country to our new home. So I focused on getting “everyday” shots and managed to get one most days.
My experiment with homemade laundry soap
A country road on the way up to the Cities
Ethan taking cover with his new Nerf gun
cozy and peaceful
An almost daily sight with Megan hamming it up
Which stain do I want?
My bedside – notice the library stack!
The last blooms
Read aloud
Baking with my sister
The heat was broken so school was often here
Or just bundled up
But then we had a glorious 70 degree day
One of my many books this fall
A special treat
A familiar sight – dropping Erik off to go to Orlando
Minnesota
Our cake pop adventure
My sweet grandma
Too many road trips!
Preparing the van
Leaving bright and early from Milwaukee
Another early morning
Trees on the grounds of Graceland
Early morning fog
Continue ReadingProject 365 November

Colors!

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I love color, especially on my walls. To me, white walls are just a canvas – they must have color.

Apparently, the previous owners of our house were kindred spirits in this regard, although the argument could and will be made that they took it a little too far.

When we first walked into our living room, we could see not one, not two, but five colors: dark red, yellow, orange, aqua, and peach. This is beyond “feature wall.” It’s not just in the living area though – it’s throughout the house. Usually it’s two walls of one color and one wall of another, like in our bathroom, the office, and the laundry room.

We think the logic went, “Hmm . . . I bought this gallon of orange to do one wall in the laundry room, but I still have more. Let’s do another wall. What – still more? Let’s do that little bit of the hallway.” This logic was applied repeatedly throughout the house, so that one of the blues in the media room shows up on two walls of the office. Another one of them appears in our bathroom. The other color in our bathroom is also in the kids’ bathroom. The yellow in part of the dining room matches the other two walls in the office. And then there’s that odd space in Ethan’s room where they seemed to have started sponge painting with a Twinkie and then gave up (maybe they sensed the Twinkie’s impending doom and chose to eat it instead).

All this I would like to remedy. Thankfully, some of the colors I actually like and would have chosen myself, so our bedroom and the guest room will remain the same.

Thankfully down the street (and by “down the street” I mean, “the closest stores to us, which are still about 5 miles away”) there is a Sherwin Williams store which has delightful names for their colors like On the Rocks and Dill and Pebblestone, all of which will be making appearances in our home. It also seems to be where the previous owners purchased paint. Using my otherwise fairly useless minute color difference spotting skills acquired during my stint as a photographic technician in a one-hour photo store I managed to pick out the colors they used on the walls we’d like to keep, so we can cover the ones we don’t.

Tomorrow, we paint!

Continue ReadingColors!

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