July 2013 - Gina Brenna Butz

Don’t blame location

Post author:Gina B
Post published:July 11, 2013
Post category:transition

When Erik first told me we were moving to Singapore in 2004, I had to look it up on a map. I had an idea that it was near Fiji.

It is not near Fiji.

I quickly learned more about our new tropical island home than its location, just short of the equator and connected by bridges to Malaysia. I learned that it was the cleanest, safest, most efficient, most affluent, and most beautiful place I’ve ever been. What’s not to love about Singapore?

And yet, through our time there, I met plenty of women who hated Singapore. Couldn’t find a thing to like about it. Really? How is that possible? It’s a tropical island for Pete’s sake. You live where people dream of vacationing.

Don’t Blame Location

It wasn’t Singapore they hated. It was their circumstances. Singapore just happened to be the unlucky backdrop. These women generally were expat women in transition. Uprooted from all they loved, their homes, their families, they were dropped into a lifestyle quite unlike what they’d ever known.

They were lost, lonely, bored. They probably would have been lost, lonely, and bored in whatever country God dropped them, but they happened to be in Singapore and so it was at fault.

I learned two things from those women – first, that every place has its ups and downs, and you have to make a choice to focus on the ups.

Second, and more importantly (because truthfully, some places do have fewer ups) I have to separate how I’m doing internally from where I am or I will miss growth.

Learning Not to Blame This Location

People asked me early on how we liked living in Orlando. I had to remind myself to stop and take away the lens of transition that colored our first six months there. Though Orlando was the context for some tough moments, it was not the cause of them. When I did that, I could say that yes, we really did enjoy living there.

Blaming location misses the real issues. It’s easy to say “I just don’t like this place. Life would be better somewhere else” rather than to acknowledge and deal with what our circumstances are doing to our hearts. The great news is that sometimes we can’t change location, but we can always change how we look at them.

The great table adventure

Post author:Gina B
Post published:July 2, 2013
Post category:DIY

I have this idea that refinishing furniture isn’t that hard, and also that I’m good at DIY projects. The first of these ideas I’m realizing isn’t nearly as true as I want to believe. I’m still holding on to the second.

For awhile I’ve wanted to refinish our dining room table because the finish has dulled and there was some water damage. I should qualify this and all previous furniture refinishing attempts by stating that none of our Chinese made furniture was expensive. It was ridiculously not expensive, in fact, which is why I seem to willy nilly throw my amateur furniture skillz at it. I don’t have much to lose.

I did decide though that it would be best to attempt only to redo the top part of our table. I’m ambitious, but I’m not dumb.

This is our table as it was:

This was right when we bought. Before the dulling and the water damaging. But it was always a little darker than I wanted, which is what happens when you pay a guy $200 to custom build a table. It won’t be exactly like that Pottery Barn table.

My first order of business was to strip it with my handy dandy Citristrip. It’s this neon peach gel that takes most of the stain right off. Then I sanded it, and put down one coat of dark walnut. It looked really cool. I put down another coat. It looked even cooler. Erik said it was good. I thought it could be a little better, so I put down one more coat. Not cool.

So it was back to this. Stripped it down again. Thank God for Citristrip! But it didn’t seem to get the stain off quite as well as the first time.

Consequently the stain didn’t go down as evenly this time either. But I was happy to be able to see the grain of the wood, something I’d always wanted. This time I quit while I was ahead.

Then came sealing it. A friend recommended using lacquer instead of polyurethane. I started with 2 cans. By the end I’d bought 10. It still continued to have this uneven shine. Argh.

So I sanded off the shine, and pulled out a can of finishing wax. I threw on two coats and called it good. It looks better in person, actually. But there it is. My great table adventure.

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