You know that part of you that you wish wasn’t?
Maybe your hair curls too much. Or not enough. Your butt’s too flat but your stomach is too big (could you switch them?). You’ve got facial hair, but you’re a girl. Big feet. Big ears. You never moved past a “barely B” cup. Or you went way too far beyond that.
For me, it’s this:
The dreaded widow’s peak. Mine’s the sharpest I’ve ever seen. Like Dracula, I am. So here’s my big confession: for nigh on 20 years, I plucked it out. Not all of it – that would have given me a receding hairline. But just enough so that it wasn’t noticeable.
I envied flat hairline people. No, really, I did. I thought, “They have no idea how good they have it.” A widow’s peak messes up most hairstyles. It felt like a curse. My thorn to bear (ok, that’s maybe a little melodramatic).
Then, a few years ago, I stopped plucking it out. At first, it grew in curly. (There was a little girl, who had a little curl . . . ). Yikes! It’s since settled down. I’m still not used to seeing it peek out. I sometimes try to style my hair so you still don’t see it. The other day, Megan saw it in the rearview mirror and pointed out that I should cover it up. (She’s got one too that she doesn’t like. I think hers is awesome).
Nothing like seeing a lack of grace for yourself show up in your own kids. I have an opportunity in that moment not only to let myself off the hook, but to help her accept all of herself as well. I’m no parenting expert, but that seems like there’s a pretty clear choice here.
So I decided: no.
No more talking smack about the widow’s peak. Time to give it some grace. For better or worse, God decided to give me a widow’s peak. He’s also given me wide feet, freckles, and other things I wouldn’t have chosen. And that’s just the outside! But all of me, inside and out, is fearfully and wonderfully made. These imperfections remind me that my idea of beautiful and God’s idea of beautiful are different. I’m going to trust His idea and embrace my imperfections.
Related:
Oh Gina. Thank you for your honesty. I Don’ t comment often but this a.m. there are tears in my eyes. I know what mine is and also tried to hide it from people. I still do. I have a physical imperfection as well but God also revealed a purpose so I hang on to that. I pray all women can show themselves grace every day and focus on Him. He is so good.
Karen,
Thanks for letting me know! Yes, we all have something, but it’s so good knowing that God sees us as perfect. I’ve been re-reading Hinds Feet on High Places. Have you read it? Such a good story of how we are loved as we are, and slowly transformed into His likeness.
Gina,
Thank you for your boldness and speaking truth to my heart. I like what you said about seeing your lack of grace for yourself on your kids as a reminder for myself to lead them into loving themselves well. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves but maybe those are opportunities given to us to become humble and embrace the way He sees us as perfect children because of Jesus.
Welcome friend! Yeah, kids are our mirror so much of the time. Have fun reading old posts when you’re bored at your job. 😉