Hearts That Carry Too Much
Prompted by a newsletter request, I prayed one morning for missionary kids around the world experiencing COVID with their families. Knowing just a few situations in other countries, and how varied they are, I paused in my prayer as I realized that if I knew all those situations, I would be overwhelmed.
This current reality is overwhelming enough as it is. It’s more than our hearts are used to carrying. More than our hearts should carry. And yet we are.
There are more issues crying for our attention than we normally have in a much longer span of time. The intensity of the issues we’re facing is daunting. They’re literally life and death. I don’t have to look far to read strong arguments telling me what I should believe about all of them, and that I should act on all of them.
I look for a balance between knowing what is happening but not knowing so much that it disrupts me in unhealthy ways. While I want to care well for the people around me and be engaged in important issues, some days it feels like too much for my heart to carry.
So what do we do?
Remember who loves us (and them)
What I remembered that morning as I prayed for missionary kids is that God knows every situation. He is not overwhelmed. He is love itself, poured out for all of us. There is no limit to His compassion or mercy. That compassion covers us as we navigate this difficult season, and it covers all that we cannot reach. We are not alone in caring for the world; He cares far more than we ever could.
A verse that has been my encouragement during this time is 1 Peter 5:7 from The Message, “Live carefree; He is most careful with you.” He is careful with us, and with all the hurting people in the world. We can trust Him with all of it.
Ask what is ours to carry
John Eldredge says our souls were made to carry villages; right now it feels like we are being asked to carry the world. While God desires for us to love our neighbors well, He knows we are finite in our capacity to care for everyone practically. Scripture commands us to carry one another’s burdens, not be buried by them. Instead, we carry them to the cross.
So what is ours? That’s between us and God. We need to ask Him to show us what our hearts should carry. He puts different passions on different peoples’ hearts. Sometimes in our zeal, we communicate about our own passion in a way that implies others must care about it to the same degree; again, we need to ask God. What is ours? That which is, we carry wholeheartedly.
Benevolently detach from the rest
John Eldredge also talks about “benevolent detachment”- the practice of letting go and giving things to Jesus. Caring, but not carrying. As we do, the weight falls away and we are able to live and love as we were created to.
For me, part of benevolent detachment has meant stepping away from social media and the news for a time to let my heart settle. It was causing too much anxiety and triggering me to want to control things I simply cannot control. The weight was too much.
Instead, I have tried to focus on engaging more in what I know God has given me, leaving the rest to Him. Over time I have slowly re-engaged, but with a careful watch on my soul and how I’m responding. My hope is to let anything that feels too heavy push me to prayer where I allow God to decide what my action should be.
Most of all, my prayer lately is, “Help me to care deeply, but hold loosely.” I want to love wholeheartedly, but I know that the world is too much for my heart to carry. I will love with everything in me and trust the carrying to God.
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