character Archives - Gina Brenna Butz

Focusing on the Right Goal (I’m talking to you, sideline parents)

Post author:Gina B
Post published:August 29, 2016
Post category:parenting

It’s that time again, when we parents get to drag our camp chairs to the sidelines and cheer on our future professional hopefuls in various sports. A few weeks ago I got a taste of this again when I spent 2 hours in the rain with a 104 heat index (thanks Orlando) watching our daughter play an end-of-soccer-camp scrimmage. Based on the reactions of parents around me, though, I might have thought I was at the World Cup finals and there were endorsement deals riding on the outcome of the game.

Fellow parents, we have got to take it down a notch.

As we enter another season of sports, can we all just keep a little perspective?

We are not put on this earth to play sports. Our purpose is to learn how to navigate the world with confidence, grace, and character. The goal is to learn to live as loved people, and to love others well.

The vast majority of kids will not play sports beyond high school, even middle school. They are going to be doctors and salespeople and teachers and baristas and parents and a host of other roles. They are meant to discover their gifts and talents, most of which will not be sports related, and to use them to His glory.

Our job as parents is to help them become these loved, confident, grace-filled, gift-sharing people of character.

So the one question we should be asking ourselves is:

Do my actions and words in watching this game reflect that goal?

If that’s our goal, then we will celebrate who they are more than what they do. We will praise teamwork and good efforts. Our focus will be their attitude more than their skills. Encouraging words will flow out of us, rather than blame and criticism. We will teach them to be gracious in victory. And failure. What they are learning through playing this sport will translate to living bravely in the world. Afterward, we’ll remind them that is it just a game, and there’s a whole big other world out there.

Let’s keep the big picture in mind, fellow sideline parents. There’s a goal we’re aiming for and it’s not the one on the field.

Why It’s Good When We See Olympians Fail

What Being a Soccer Mom Teaches Me About Parenting

What I Want More Than Your Happiness

Post author:Gina B
Post published:May 9, 2016
Post category:expectations parenting

What I Want for My Kids More Than Their Happiness — Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

“It’s not fair,” is a favorite phrase from an unmentioned child in our family.

It’s true. Life is so often not fair. I wish I could make it fair for you. Mostly because then I would be super awesome mommy in your eyes, and it’s always tempting to vie for super awesome mommy status.

But then I remember that I’m not just about your happiness.

I want more for you than that.

More than always wanting life to be fair for you, I want you to know how to handle unjust situations with grace and joy.

More than the blessing of friendship, I hope you learn to be content with loneliness. I hope you develop compassion for the outsider, because you know what it’s like.

More than you acing every test and paper, I want you to learn how to accept failure without it defining you. While breezing through school is fun, the discipline of hard work and time management will serve you better.

More than you winning every game and tournament, I want you to choose grace in defeat, holding your head up high and congratulating the winner with sincerity. That kind of attitude carries over into all of life.

I long for your heart never to be broken. But more than that, I want you to learn that being vulnerable is the way to live bravely and openly. May your broken places serve to make you softer and more compassionate.

At the end of the day, more than your comfort I want your character. More than your success I want your strength to get back up in the face of a fall.

But I know. I know that you think super awesome mommy should make you happy. I know, because this is exactly what I expect God to do with me.

But He wants more for us.

Character over comfort.

Holiness over happiness.

It’s tempting for me to doubt His love when my prayers don’t land me in a comfortable, happy place, but instead right smack in the middle of growth.

I forget that giving me challenges instead of ease is proof of God’s love, not denial. He loves us too much not to make us more like Him.

I can’t aim for super awesome mommy. I need to aim for “do what is good for you even if it’s hard for both of us because I love you more than life” mommy (I need a shorter term for that). That’s where God’s aiming for both of us too.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I Am Not My Child’s Savior

When Falling Is Good

Promises to My Children