What I Want More Than Your Happiness
“It’s not fair,” is a favorite phrase from an unmentioned child in our family.
It’s true. Life is so often not fair. I wish I could make it fair for you. Mostly because then I would be super awesome mommy in your eyes, and it’s always tempting to vie for super awesome mommy status.
But then I remember that I’m not just about your happiness.
I want more for you than that.
More than always wanting life to be fair for you, I want you to know how to handle unjust situations with grace and joy.
More than the blessing of friendship, I hope you learn to be content with loneliness. I hope you develop compassion for the outsider, because you know what it’s like.
More than you acing every test and paper, I want you to learn how to accept failure without it defining you. While breezing through school is fun, the discipline of hard work and time management will serve you better.
More than you winning every game and tournament, I want you to choose grace in defeat, holding your head up high and congratulating the winner with sincerity. That kind of attitude carries over into all of life.
I long for your heart never to be broken. But more than that, I want you to learn that being vulnerable is the way to live bravely and openly. May your broken places serve to make you softer and more compassionate.
At the end of the day, more than your comfort I want your character. More than your success I want your strength to get back up in the face of a fall.
But I know. I know that you think super awesome mommy should make you happy. I know, because this is exactly what I expect God to do with me.
But He wants more for us.
Character over comfort.
Holiness over happiness.
It’s tempting for me to doubt His love when my prayers don’t land me in a comfortable, happy place, but instead right smack in the middle of growth.
I forget that giving me challenges instead of ease is proof of God’s love, not denial. He loves us too much not to make us more like Him.
I can’t aim for super awesome mommy. I need to aim for “do what is good for you even if it’s hard for both of us because I love you more than life” mommy (I need a shorter term for that). That’s where God’s aiming for both of us too.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
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