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Abide. It means to remain, to continue, to stay; to dwell, to reside. It’s a good word for me as I continue to try to sink roots into this new life in America. But it’s not America I need to abide in; it’s God.

This became clear to me about 9 months into the year. I am by nature a person who wants to feel valuable. I guess we all do, at our core. But the problem for me is that I can slip into thinking that my value comes from what I offer to the world. Being in a new place, people often don’t know what it is you can offer. That’s where I was for most of this year, feeling a bit invisible, like a kid on a playground waiting to be chosen for the team.

I know in my head that my value lies solely in my position as God’s child. My worth is established. But it’s easy for me to feed off the admiration and recognition of others, and to believe that it ups my status in the world. I had to keep reminding myself that a lack of acknowledgement from others changed nothing. I had to keep going back to what He says about me; I am valuable to Him and that is enough.

Then later in the year, things started to change. I had opportunities to do what I enjoy most – speaking, writing, connecting deeply with other women. So many days I would say to God, “Who am I, that I get to do this?” It fed my desire to feel valuable. But at the end of the day, I know it isn’t where I should put my hope, my sense of well-being. It is fleeting.

Hence, abide. Whether I am seen or unseen, known or unknown, I need to keep going back to Him to tell me who I am so that I stay grounded. I want to live from a solid place, not a changing one. To do that I have to abide in Him, my refuge.

What about you? Leave a comment and tell me what your word of the year is for 2014!

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