abide Archives - Gina Brenna Butz

Called to Do Today (And Just Today)

Post author:Gina B
Post published:August 24, 2015
Post category:dependence on God faith grace

I wake up in the morning and the world weighs down on me.

There is so much to do. I have goals to accomplish, dreams to make happen and lives to shape.

There’s a future athletic trainer to develop and a hopeful rocket scientist to challenge.

Before that they need to graduate and learn independence, to drive (Lord, have mercy) and get jobs. There are hearts to be molded and relationships to strengthen before they go. That’s just in the house.

Out there is a husband trying his very best to do what God calls him to do. Right now it’s hard and discouraging. So there’s a foxhole to hunker down in together while we do all the heart molding, relationship strengthening, independence building and future shaping. In the foxhole, there’s cheerleading, listening, believing and praying that needs to happen. I love it, but it’s a battle.

There is a world of injustices I want to right. Hearts need awakening. Friends are in messy places and I want to sit there with them. Books and blog posts beg to be written. Speeches seek a voice. Coaching and leading and creating and loving call.

It’s all good and necessary, and I love it all more than life, which is why I want to see it done well so very much.

Called to do today

But as I walk this morning and lift my weary eyes to God, inquiring what to do about this heavy weight, He reminds me that we are only called to do today. Our energy needs to cover what is in this sunrise to sunset. He will direct and sustain it, and give us what we need for it.

He sees the future them, the foxhole us, and the world of needs. He’s got it all covered.

So I take all that energy I thought needed to cover the next 10 years, and I know it is the portion He gives me for this. Not all it takes for all that I see in the future – just enough of what I need for today.

My soul breathes a sigh of relief. The weight lifts because it was never mine to carry.

It is His. He’s got this. He’s got us.

We are called to do today.

Weekly Word – God is God

Post author:Gina B
Post published:April 1, 2014
Post category:faith word of the year

I swear I was not living under a rock for the past decade or so – just 6,000 miles away, give or take. Somehow, during all that time, I managed to live in blissful ignorance of the conversations, arguments, and divides that are taking place in the church today. Either that, or I came back just in time to witness them. Lucky me!

I don’t share much about my personal views on controversial issues here, mostly because I don’t feel led to do so. I watch, though, as others, particularly in the past week, draw more and more lines in the sand intended to separate one faction from another.

It’s discouraging to see, and I can’t help feeling like our energy is being wasted on all these arguments and not on leading people to the Kingdom. It’s enough for me to just say, “Oh Lord Jesus, come now.”

So I stopped last week and said, “God, what does it look like for me to stay in this mess of a church and abide in you?” And the thought that came to mind was, “God is God.”

He is greater than all this. He doesn’t sit afar wringing His hands, hoping we get it right. He is at work, even in all this.

And that’s enough for me. In the end, all will be clear. All theological arguments will be answered. I can believe whatever I want, but in the end there will be truth and maybe I will be right and maybe I will be wrong. I just hope I can say that I lived in such a way that I drew more people to Him. I hope I am known more for who and how I love than what I am against. I hope He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I hope He will be pleased.

So today I will abide in this: God is God.

White Space

Post author:Gina B
Post published:March 24, 2014
Post category:word of the year

“White space should not be considered merely ‘blank’ space — it is an important element of design which enables the objects in it to exist at all . . . A page crammed full of text or graphics with very little white space runs the risk of appearing busy, cluttered, and is typically difficult to read.”

When it comes to design, I love white space. It’s so appealing. It leaves you wanting more. What does exist in the space has more impact. So why is it that I have such a hard time leaving white space in my life?

I look at my schedule like Pac Man – any open space must be consumed! nom nom nom. White space feels like a waste of time.

But God keeps calling me to white space. To slow. To less. To be still and know, or as my Chinese translation reads, “You need to rest.”

So this is my hope for the week – white space. That white space is when I remember that I am not as important as I think I am; in fact, I am much weaker and needier than I would care to admit. It is in that white space that I can receive what I need. That white space is what “enables the objects in it to exist at all.”

Who was and is and is to come

Post author:Gina B
Post published:March 10, 2014
Post category:faith

A few weeks ago, I was wrestling with trust in God. Ok, who I am kidding? I wrestle with trusting God more often than that, but I want to tell you about this particular time. It was regarding our finances. Since coming back to America, I have found life to be more expensive. America is the Land of Opportunity (To Spend More Money on Everything).

As I was struggling to leave this in God’s hands, the phrase came to mind, “Who was and is and is to come.” It’s found several times in Revelations, referring to God. As I pondered that phrase, I realized God was telling me, “Gina, I have provided for you in the past. I am providing for you now. I will provide for you.” It occurred to me that I could say that about any aspect of His character – He has saved, He is saving, He will save. He has loved, He is loving, He will love. He has been good, He is good, He will be good. He has abided, He is abiding, He will abide with me. He was and is and is to come.

It was a great comfort to feel this sense of being surrounded by God in time (and to know that I could therefore trust Him with this issue). This I can count on. Whatever we need. Always. Constant. Faithful. Unchanging. That’s good news. He abides.

Zoom In

Post author:Gina B
Post published:February 24, 2014
Post category:faith word of the year

My favorite piece of camera equipment is my Canon 18-200mm lens, because I love to zoom in. The closer the better. I want to cut out extraneous things and just focus on my subject.

I’m finding this to be true in my on-going quest to abide as well. The more I focus on God, the more He fills my lens, other things are just pushed out. They become less important to me. I care less about my goals unless they are what God is calling me to do. I care less about being seen or known because I am focused on the one who sees and knows me most. I find myself comparing to others less because I simply don’t see them in my view anymore. It’s all Him.

Our pastor touched on this during the sermon this morning when he said, “When Jesus is bigger, when He is our focus, He is enough.” Amen.

It’s true. This week, through a variety of ways, I’ve spent more time thinking about God (preparing a talk for the middle schoolers, listening to podcasts during my drive times, reading 2 Corinthians which is hands down my favorite book of the Bible) and I feel like God’s been bigger to me. I’ve zoomed in. Oh to always have this view.

God in me

Post author:Gina B
Post published:January 20, 2014
Post category:word of the year

I remember my then three year old son wrestling with theology when he asked, “Mom, if Jesus lives in my heart and I eat food, will it go near Jesus?”

I’ve had my own theological wrestlings this week about God in me as I try to wrap my mind around the words, “Abide in me and I in you.” It’s one thing for me to try to make God my dwelling place, but then He turns around and says He’s going to choose to dwell in me too.

So that’s my abide pondering for this week – the fact that God abides in me. The God of the universe lives in me. What? When I think about that, so much in me says, “Are you sure You want to do that?

“I mean, I know me. I know that mixed up in all the redemption You’ve done there’s still a fair amount of depravity. I’m a sinner, God. Why would you want to do that?”

But that’s the great and awesome mystery. He’s not a God who redeems from afar. He gets right up in there and transforms from the inside out. He dwells in me while still renovating me into a place more fit for a king.

I’ve been asking Him to help me grasp this more deeply. I like the way Henri Nouwen puts it in his book Return of the Prodigal Son, “I am called to enter into the inner sanctuary of my own being where God has chosen to dwell . . . it is the place where I am held safe in the embrace of an all-loving Father who calls me by name and says, ‘You are my beloved child, on whom my favor rests.'”

It makes abiding even more appealing to know He’s already met me more than halfway. It’s a place where I can rest, trust, be loved. He abides in me. Wow.

Gentle Whisper

Post author:Gina B
Post published:January 13, 2014
Post category:rest

Last week I was on the internet going a little crazy following rabbit trails on some new writing websites I found. They were giving me ideas about how to improve my writing and expand my audience, and after awhile I realized that I had gone beyond, “Hmm . . . helpful input” to, “How do I get to be as amazing as these people?” and that, my friends, is when all wise people should close the computer and walk away.

So I did. I went up into my room, sat in my corner chair, and just took a deep breath. I sat there until my heart was rested again and I could get God’s perspective on the balance between wisely making the most of the opportunities He gives me, and trusting that what I have and who I am is where He wants me to be right now.

It reminded me of Elijah, who sought God on a mountain. He waited and listened for God.

First a powerful wind came. Then, an earthquake, and finally a fire passed by.

God wasn’t in those. God was in the gentle whisper.

We have to step away from the noise from time to time to simply be in His presence, and listen to His voice telling us what’s true.

He comes most often in silence.

I wrote a poem about this, back in my angst-filled, poetry writing days (I miss the poetry writing, but not the angst). Here it is, enjoy:

My Bit of Heaven

Not in the powerful wind,
nor the earthquake, nor the fire,
He came in the gentle whisper.

I Kings 19:11-13

My soul longs for solitude,
like a desert thirsts for water
And somewhere out there,
the solitude is calling me.

In search of it I find
Black cutout trees against an orange sky.
Snow lays unbroken, pure, white
as the peace it pours over me.

A single leaf is hurried
Scattering across the white in
reckless ignorance to the stillness it is in,
Too much like me.

I breathe in the silence
and realize I’m home.
His gift to me is a bit of heaven
filling my heart, loved poured in by the Spirit.

I only find it in the gentle whisper.

Weekly Word – I Need Your Eyes

Post author:Gina B
Post published:January 6, 2014
Post category:word of the year

One of those words of wisdom I adopted as a young mom was the practice of making sure my kids were looking me in the eyes when I needed them to hear something important. I have so many memories of me saying, “I need your eyes . . . I need your eyes” while my children’s faces were inclined toward me, but their eyes were still straining to look elsewhere.

God has been telling me, “I need your eyes.” Not me sort of looking at Him while I’m holding out for something better out there somewhere, my half-attention while I peek at what’s around the corner. He wants all of my attention. He wants to be my only audience. Seek first His kingdom. In all your ways submit to Him. Fix your eyes on Jesus.

God made me a writer, and I love that. But it means I am in a constant battle to keep looking to Him rather than to the audience of the world. Facebook likes and twitter retweets and blog comments feed a desire to be known and admired. The problem is, they will never satisfy. He will.

So this is what abiding looks like this week: Giving Him my eyes. Letting the voices of the world slowly be drowned out by His voice calling me.

This is my first in hopefully a weekly reflection on my word of the year, Abide. Something like my 31 Days of Victory except hopefully much easier. At least the writing about it.

What about you? How are you living out your one word?

Choosing to Abide

Post author:Gina B
Post published:January 3, 2014
Post category:word of the year

So I’ve been trying to figure out how exactly I’m going to do Abide this year. What does it look like to dwell in God? How do I do that practically speaking? I keep imagining myself trying to abide, which feels about the same as when you try to think about something and then you can’t think of anything at all. You know that feeling?

What I do know is that what I want is to learn to settle in to a more solid place in my soul. I feel like I’ve lived there before, and much of it came from an intentional intake of truth, truth that told me who I am and who He is and where I stand with Him. Henri Nouwen talks about it in his book Inner Voice of Love,

“You have to trust the place that is solid, the place where you can say yes to God’s love even when you do not feel it. Right now you feel nothing except emptiness and the lack of strength to choose. But keep saying, ‘God loves me, and God’s love is enough.’ You have to choose the place over and over again, and return to it after every failure.”

I feel like the last year I’ve been focused outwardly, and not in a good way. Not in an other-centered way, but in a survival mode-is there life out there-kind of way. This quote reminds me that the solid place is inside, where He dwells, and I have to choose to go to that place again and again, not only after every failure but even after every success.

So here’s to choosing to abide in the solid place. What are you going to do to start focusing on your word of the year?

One Word 2014

Post author:Gina B
Post published:December 30, 2013
Post category:word of the year

Abide. It means to remain, to continue, to stay; to dwell, to reside. It’s a good word for me as I continue to try to sink roots into this new life in America. But it’s not America I need to abide in; it’s God.

This became clear to me about 9 months into the year. I am by nature a person who wants to feel valuable. I guess we all do, at our core. But the problem for me is that I can slip into thinking that my value comes from what I offer to the world. Being in a new place, people often don’t know what it is you can offer. That’s where I was for most of this year, feeling a bit invisible, like a kid on a playground waiting to be chosen for the team.

I know in my head that my value lies solely in my position as God’s child. My worth is established. But it’s easy for me to feed off the admiration and recognition of others, and to believe that it ups my status in the world. I had to keep reminding myself that a lack of acknowledgement from others changed nothing. I had to keep going back to what He says about me; I am valuable to Him and that is enough.

Then later in the year, things started to change. I had opportunities to do what I enjoy most – speaking, writing, connecting deeply with other women. So many days I would say to God, “Who am I, that I get to do this?” It fed my desire to feel valuable. But at the end of the day, I know it isn’t where I should put my hope, my sense of well-being. It is fleeting.

Hence, abide. Whether I am seen or unseen, known or unknown, I need to keep going back to Him to tell me who I am so that I stay grounded. I want to live from a solid place, not a changing one. To do that I have to abide in Him, my refuge.

What about you? Leave a comment and tell me what your word of the year is for 2014!

Called to do today

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