There are two lies we can live by, flip sides of the same coin.
One lie tells us that we might be too much for other people. Too needy, too messy, too emotional, too demanding of the emotional space of others.
The lie tells us to live in fear of being “that person” – the one who asks more than others want to give. It says there’s a limit to how much people want of us.
The other side says maybe we’re not enough. We’re the shirt someone sees in the store that they like, but not quite enough to try it on, not quite enough to invest in it.
It says sure, they like us, but maybe they don’t really like us. Not enough to pursue us. The lie says we might not be fun enough, or interesting enough, or whatever enough of what it would take for them to come closer.
The lies keep us in a crazy battle to be less of this and more of that. They make us question ourselves, to hold back when we should be authentic, to hide parts of ourselves in order to be more acceptable, a constant, “Do you like me now? Do you like me now?” They demand we find a way to make ourselves perfectly lovable.
Both lies say the burden is on us to prove ourselves. We must earn a spot in peoples’ hearts.
They tell us there is no place to rest.
But the truth sets us free.
“As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.'” (Henri Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son)
Yes, those lies are bondage. When they whisper to us, “prove yourself worthy,” we say back, “It’s already been done.”
The truth is, we aren’t meant to measure worth, we are simply called to live it. We are worth the space we take up in this world. We are worth pursuing.
If we weren’t, then the God of the universe would not have taken the time to put us here. He would not have come for us. He would not have died in our place. He’s declared us worthy.
Let’s live in the truth of our worth.
Related:
Vulnerable. Theological. Universal. Evocative. Once again you’ve found a way to minister across gender and culture and point us all to a Magnificent God. May God give you the grace to continue to be in touch with your broken/redeemed heart and to articulate what you experience. May he protect you from ever having to perform with your word choices and allow you to simply trust Him to multiply the offering of your life.
Mike,
Thank you for your kind words!
Gina, Cindee Schim has just been blessed by your blog posts. I think that is how to say it. Beautiful. I want to forward to everyone I Know.
Thanks Cindee!
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