Cancel Culture and the Gospel

Cancel Culture and the Gospel
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

 

These days, as I said in my last post, I avoid social media most of the time. It’s just not good for my soul. Every once in a while though I will jump on Twitter and see what’s trending. All too often, I see a hashtag that includes the word, “cancel.”

We like to cancel people these days. More often than not, it’s a comment or an action from that person that offends in some way. Sometimes it’s justified-we need to call out wrong behavior.

But more often than not, it seems, it’s something that person simply didn’t think through well enough before it happened; if they had, they might have refrained.

Worse yet, maybe it happened years ago. Decades ago, even. Back when their brains weren’t fully developed, or before they carried the cultural gravitas they have now. Back when they were unknown, or before they changed their mind on an issue (yes, we can change our minds and our behavior). Certainly, before everyone’s every movement could be documented and displayed for the world to see.

But too late! It doesn’t matter when or why, it’s in the world now, and enough to make a blanket judgment about you. You are voted off the island, eliminated from the crowd, erased from existence. And not only you, but anyone associated with you.

I’m all for holding people accountable for their words and actions. There’s a growing recognition that much of what happens in our society has been and continues to be damaging to many. That must change. On certain issues, we cannot remain silent or we add to the problem.

But this idea that we will cancel someone because of one moment-this I cannot reconcile with the gospel.

Cancel Culture in the Bible

Cancel culture paints the world in black and white. You are good or bad, weighed on a scale. You tip out of favor with one wrong move, and there’s no coming back from it. The gavel has come down and you are irreversibly in the “bad” category.

The good/bad split doesn’t account for the reality that we are complex people, capable of great blessing and harm, each of us. It doesn’t account for redemption. It doesn’t recognize the gospel.

I think of Zaccheus. There’s a man we would cancel today. He betrayed his own people in his job as a tax collector. The woman caught in adultery? Canceled. Peter denying Jesus three times? Canceled.

When we don’t have the lens of the gospel, it makes sense that we would cancel. We create our own moral code, a tenuous assumption of goodness until we prove otherwise. The world waits with its scarlet C, ready to judge.

The Gospel of Grace

But the gospel says there is redemption. There is hope for those who fail. Grace for the fallen. New life after the wrong-doing. It says our goodness isn’t measured on a scale, that forgiveness is possible, and change can happen.

The gospel says there is no one good, not one. Instead, there is One who has come and done what we cannot do-wiped the slate clean, broken the scales, torn the veil that separates us from love and acceptance and freedom from top to bottom.

Don’t think I’m suggesting we not call people out on their sin. There is good accountability, a higher standard being raised in areas long excused. That is important.

But in all ways and at all times, we are called to treat people as Jesus did and does.

What would Jesus say to the person today who commits a cancel-worthy crime?

Jesus Doesn’t Cancel Us

I think of the woman caught in adultery, of Zaccheus, of Peter. I think of how Jesus responded to them. He did not excuse their sin. He knew exactly what they had done.

But in his response to them, there was no shame. There was no dismissal of them as people. He looked straight at them with compassion. He clearly acknowledged their sin and then invited them away from it.  There was hope for restoration.

And restoration happened. Zaccheaus paid back all he took and then some. Peter became the foundation of the church. Jesus calls out sin, and then He calls us out of it into new life.

With the gospel, there is hope. With cancel culture, there is only condemnation. It goes against our sense of justice, but in God’s eyes, no one is unredeemable.

We ought to hold people accountable for their actions. Sin should be acknowledged. We must invite people to repentance. And yes, that might mean consequences-loss of position or influence. But it should not involve condemnation. Shame has no place in the gospel.

God Doesn’t Cancel Us

Full disclosure? I’ve been afraid to write this post. So many times I’ve seen people take issue with something a writer says or does, and the result is, “We aren’t going to read anything she writes anymore,” as though that one comment or action negates all the goodness or truth that person has written. I fear being canceled.

But I don’t want to live under that tyranny. I hope I never sin against someone in what I write. It’s possible I might ignorantly offend. If that happens, I would hope someone would come to me and invite me to repentance. I would hope for the opportunity to set things right.

May we be like Him, speaking truth to sin, but with a kind call to turn from that sin. After all, it’s His kindness that leads to repentance, not shame.

God never cancels us.

“Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir,’ she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.'” John 8:10-11

 

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Living in Reality

Living in Reality
Photo by Tobias Bjerknes on Unsplash

 

“You don’t get to decide reality. You just get to enter it.”

That’s a phrase a friend of mine shared years ago, and it changed my life.

Reality is what is true. It’s true whether or not we believe it to be true, whether or not we want it to be true. It just is.

How We Respond to Reality

I think of this a lot, as I see people choosing the parts of our current reality they want to embrace. Not all of it-just what fits the picture we want to hold onto.

Some of us prefer optimism-let’s find the silver linings and look on the bright side. There’s a benefit to that, but not when it’s delusional. Not when it turns a blind eye on the plight of the less fortunate.

Some focus on the gravity of the situation, with just cause. We can’t look away from the reality of the pain this is causing so many, including ourselves. We can’t avoid the hard truths, but in doing so sometimes we miss the good that is happening.

Sometimes it’s not optimism or pessimism that keeps us from reality. It’s just willful ignorance. A stubborn refusal to name what is real. Like an athlete who says, “No, I’m good to play” when they are obviously injured.

This reality isn’t one that any of us would have chosen, but it what we have. We don’t get to decide if we want it, but we do have the opportunity to enter it with Jesus at our side.

My friend Iris recently said, “Jesus will not meet us in fantasyland. We meet Jesus at the foot of the cross in reality.”

Our current reality is rough.

Each morning I wake up and wonder if maybe this pandemic is a nightmare we can shake off.

We can’t.

So if we can’t shake it off, how do we enter it?

How Do We Enter Reality

We enter it honestly, confessionally. As with any trial, we are being stirred. This situation shows us where our idols are-where we hold too tightly to comfort, security, control, success, peace. So as we recognize them, we confess them. We agree with God about the hold they have on us.

We speak honestly about our emotions. So many are stirred in us in situations like this-anxiety, grief, anger, frustration, discouragement. God wants our unedited hearts. He can handle them. We speak the reality of how we feel, knowing that He will sift through it and bring us to His version of what is happening.

We don’t pretend that things are better than they are. Nor do we take God out of the equation and predict despair. We look suffering in the face and see God standing with us in it, holding us, comforting us. The more we are willing to enter suffering, the more we can minister to others in it.

We enter it knowing that while we are all in this together, we are experiencing different realities. For some, this has been a time to slow down. For others, there’s more work than ever. Some might find it’s a bit of a relief. Others wonder how they will make ends meet. When we don’t recognize the fact that our realities are not the same, we withhold compassion and understanding. But when we do see that others are experiencing this in a different way, we give them space and grace to be on their own journeys.

We enter it with Jesus. We meet Him at the foot of the cross in it, knowing that nothing about Him is changed by our circumstances. Nothing He has done for us is taken. We know that He sees all we are going through. He has compassion on us. His power and wisdom will carry each of us through the reality we are in. Nothing in this situation scares Him, derails Him, makes Him wonder what to do. Nothing about how we are going through it, whether we’re “doing well” or not, phases Him.

And because of Him, we enter it with faith, hope, and gratitude. We look around to see where He is at work and we celebrate it. In this reality, there is goodness, because God is here. Those of us who know Him ought to be the ones most able to walk it with hope, because we have an unshakeable foundation in the midst of the harshest realities.

When we stare in the face of reality and still praise God, how much more is He glorified? And how much more do we see that He is greater than any reality we encounter? He is God of anything we walk through.

 

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Speaking Truth to Ourselves

Speaking Truth to Ourselves
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“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?” (Martyn Lloyd Jones, Spiritual Depression).

When our kids were little, I taught them that their thoughts were something they could actually control. We talked about how our minds are like airports, and there are always airplanes requesting to land, thoughts settling down. Some of those thoughts are good, but many aren’t. Some are enemy airplanes. And we can tell them they do not have permission to land.

Easier said than done.

We too often passively listen to those voices. We let them land and then we let them take root. They are voices from the past, voices that have been around so long we no longer question their truth or origin. It’s the voice of the enemy, hurling accusations at us. It’s the voice of fear or discouragement or pride sneaking in.

In moving through some hard experiences in the last year, I have become aware of the negative thoughts I listen to. I learned a helpful practice from Adam Young, on his podcast, The Place We Find Ourselves. In a fantastic series on spiritual warfare, he notes that we need to pay attention to the voice of the enemy. We need to recognize the accusations he brings against us.

Our enemy knows us well-knows what lies about ourselves and others we will swallow without question, what most easily knocks us down at the knees. Adam said that we should write those thoughts down and note: the enemy isn’t very creative. His lies tend to center around themes. For me: that it’s all up to me to keep things together. If I fail, people will be disappointed and leave (hey, no pressure).

Speak the Truth

While I can name those accusations, and am becoming aware of when I hear them, it’s not enough to just hope they’ll stop. Or to hope that maybe some good thoughts, some positive truth will come flying by to take their place.

No, what I’m learning I need to do is to be the one who talks back to the accusations. But we need to speak truth to ourselves, rather than passively listening to voices that we were never meant to hear. When we do, we are agreeing with God about who we are instead of the enemy.

One of the phrases that has stood out to me recently in scripture is “thus says the Lord.” There’s something so definitive about that, isn’t there? God said it, so that’s that. And what He says about us is so good.

Take Isaiah 43 for example, “Thus says the Lord . . . do not fear, I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine, I am with you, you are precious, I love you.” Those are the kind of thoughts I want to plant myself in. That’s where I make my home.

So while I know in my head what is true, lately I’ve started saying things like this out loud, and often. I tell myself the truth of Isaiah 43, and anything else that defeats the enemy’s accusations. I speak the gentleness and kindness I would speak to a friend going through what I’m encountering. God says this about me, therefore I will say it too.

Particularly in this anxious time, we have to be conscious of the thoughts we are permitting to land in our minds. Are they true? Is it what God says to us? If not, we can refuse them a place to land and instead tell ourselves what we most need to hear.

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Complaining vs Honesty

Complaining vs Honesty
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I read once of a missionary woman who determined not to complain about anything in her situation, even the weather.

A good principle it seems, but as a young missionary overseas, I wondered about it. If I didn’t speak of the the challenges of that life, what did I do about them?

What should I do with the days when suddenly the water in our building was shut off, the moments when I couldn’t make myself understood, when I ached for family and comfort?

Was I just meant to swallow all that? If I did, would it just go away? Or maybe my recourse was just to look on the bright side. Maybe enough positive thoughts submerge the hard aspects of life.

I don’t disagree that complaining that keeps us focused on our lack is a practice to avoid. But I’ve seen (and experienced) the ways a commitment to not complaining becomes a subtle way of shaming and minimizing the impact of suffering on our souls.

I began to wonder if there was a place for honesty in the life of a missionary. Is there a way for us to name that which weighs on us without it leading to discouragement and negativity?

The Difference between Complaining and Honesty

You may think honesty is simply a cleaned-up way to say complaining, but I disagree. Because I see honesty in scripture, particularly the Psalms. David brings his honest heart before God again and again.

In fact, in some verses, David straight up calls it complaint: “Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint” (Psalm 64:1) and, “I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble” (Psalm 142:2). He names that which wars against his soul. He names the cost of it.

But he does it as one with hope and trust. He doesn’t take it to his neighbor-he takes it to God first. He speaks his truth to the One who He believes will hear and answer. This, to me, is the opposite of complaint.

Complaint keeps our eyes on ourselves and our circumstances. It speaks from a place of entitlement, so easy for us to slip into when we are doing “God’s work.” As though God owes us a good life since we’re “sacrificing” for Him.

Complaint leaves us longing and believing that we’ve been shorted. It’s a path toward disillusionment and bitterness.

But honesty turns our eyes back to God. It reminds us that even in the hardest situation, God is there and what He has given us cannot be shaken.

Our honest complaint to Him says, “This is hard, but I’m not going to pretend it isn’t because You are here. I won’t try to muscle through this in my own strength. I know You see how difficult this is and You have compassion. Please help me, heal me, give me the strength I lack to keep doing what You’ve called me to do in the middle of this mess.”

Complaint shuts God out. Honesty invites Him in. Click To Tweet

 

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One Hurdle at a Time

One Hurdle at a Time
Photo by Andrew McElroy on Unsplash

 

Publishing a book is a daunting process.

It’s a little like running hurdles. You keep running the race, and then along the way, there are tasks that ask more of you. Each hurdle requires a measure of courage, grit, and humility. Any one of them has the potential for failure or rejection.

It seems the further we go in any endeavor, the more hurdles we face. The challenges get greater. They ask more of us than we may think we can offer.

While it can be exhilarating to pass one and realized, “I made it!” the journey itself can be tiring and anxiety-producing.

I had one of those hurdles earlier in the process. My marketing director (how did I get a marketing director?) called to talk about my launch team. Big hurdle.

So I prayed. A lot. I prayed that I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. I prayed I wouldn’t feel behind. Walking into that phone call I knew I needed to remember Whose I am and how much He is with me and for me, no matter what.

And I wasn’t alone. I asked others to pray for me too. They too prayed that God would give me what I needed to jump that next hurdle.

And you know what? It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, thanks to God and others. I felt their strength and encouragement (and it helps that my marketing director is a great person who is for me).

Crossing Each Hurdle

When the temptation to be overwhelmed arises, I have to stop and do a little soul work. I acknowledge the lies that are creeping in-that I have to prove myself, that people are watching and waiting for me to mess up, that I am alone in this.

Then I feed my soul the truth of who I am, and remind myself that this is for His glory, not mine. I look at my day and say, “God, what do you have for me to do today? Will you give me what I need to do it?”

I think this is what Jesus meant when he talked about daily bread. And not worrying about tomorrow. Casting all your cares. Taking up your cross daily and following Him. That the truth will set us free. This is where the rubber meets the road.

While it’s tempting to look ahead and see the whole race, I’m reminded that He gives us just enough for today. For this hurdle. This thing that feels like it’s more than we can do, He walks with us. He strengthens.

A New Year of Hurdles

As we venture into this new year, there will be hurdles. There will be things that ask more of us than we think we have. More of us than we do have.

Thank God we don’t have to do it alone. May this be a year of daily, peace-filled dependence on the One who gives us manna. May we stay close enough that we feel His breath, close enough that help is never far away. He speaks truth to our inmost parts, giving us what we need to do what He’s called us to do.

 

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Grace for the New Year

Grace for the New Year
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

 

I woke up one morning soon after Christmas break all ambitious for the day (the 5-word title of my biography will read Maybe She Was too Ambitious). I planned a few hours of writing, a few hours of talk planning.

But then we had an unexpected doctor visit (all’s well, thanks for asking). That’s alright, I thought-a little less writing, a little less planning.

And then I realized how tired I was. So I decided on a 20-minute nap.

4 times in a row.

While I went in and out of sleep, I felt that old nagging friend, Anxiety, whispering, “You’re not getting things done,” and her companion, Guilt, “some start to the new year. I mean seriously, it’s day 3 of being back to productivity.”

But then, Grace showed up. And Grace said, “Apparently you need sleep. Good thing you’ve got time next week. It’ll be okay. It will happen. One day that doesn’t go as planned does not derail your life.”

It doesn’t take long into a new venture for those old voices to start whispering to us. Maybe we bit off more than we can chew. It might be too hard. Do we really need to go to the gym? How important is that habit I wanted to start? Is that dream actually worth pursuing?

It’s easy to fall into an all or nothing mentality. If I’m not doing it well, maybe it’s not worth doing. If I skip a day, fall short, miss an opportunity, maybe I shouldn’t have tried in the first place.

But that’s a life without the voice of Grace. We won’t get far into our adventures this year without it.

What Grace Says

Scripture says the righteous person falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity (Proverbs 24:16).

The wise woman hits repeat four times on her alarm and then rises to try again, but the foolish one lets the negative voices tell her she’s disqualifying herself.

In the pursuit of the goals, habits, and dreams we hope to accomplish this year, we will stumble. Grace is the voice saying, “get back up, you’re not done.”

Grace says one day doesn’t take us out. Or a week of days. Or even a month. It says we can still hope, and God doesn’t desert, and this is all part of being human.

Grace might be the best companion we have all year. The best workout buddy, the greatest accountability partner, our biggest cheerleader. Click To Tweet

So let’s bring Grace along this year in every endeavor.

Let it be the voice that speaks loudest in your mind whenever you get sidetracked.

Listen to it call you to freedom and rest.

May it be the voice that encourages you to keep going.

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A Steady Diet of Truth

A Steady Diet of Truth
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

My daughter and I recently watched a few seasons of Survivor. It’s fascinating. I would be terrible on Survivor for so many reasons, one of which is that I get seriously hangry when I’m deprived of food. I would be useless in the challenges. Grumpy around camp. They would vote me off SO fast.

Nearly starving yourself in extreme conditions looks insane, but that’s the way many of us can live. I’m not talking about food. I’m talking about truth.

Why We Starve Ourselves

When we get busy, one of the first things that can get pushed out of our schedule is time with the truth.

We might have the best intentions to spend long periods of time soaking in scripture, parsing verses, digging deep into a word study. But then we stay up too late and sleep in and decide to skip the word that morning.

Or the responsibilities pile up and instead of feeding on truth, we take up the time with one more task. I know that’s been the case with me the last few weeks in the rush of graduating a child. It’s, “I’ll pray while I walk,” or, “I’ll listen to a spiritual podcast while I (cook, do laundry, etc).” But instead of praying my mind wanders, and instead of spiritual podcasts, youtube seems more entertaining.

For a while, we can get by that way. But if we do it for too long, we begin to be people who truth snack our way through life. We eat just enough to get by. When our souls feel a little weary, we throw them some scripture, a short devotional, a few minutes of prayer.

And so we starve.

But why?

Why do we just get by, when we could be gorging our souls on what they desperately need?

We can gorge ourselves on truth.

If there is one area of our lives where we can eat until we are stuffed, it’s on truth. Reading scripture. Spending time listening to God. Filling our minds with what is true, instead of listening to ourselves.

And we need food for our souls not only on a regular basis, but even more so in those difficult times. The times when our souls are strained, pushed to the limit, when more is asked of us.

When we are most tempted to get by is when we need to stop and gorge ourselves. Admit our human need for something greater to sustain us, and eat what is good. Feed on the bread of life. Drink the living water. The more we do, the better able we are to face the trials that come.

Feeding Ourselves Takes Time

In some seasons, I wish things were easier and I didn’t have to eat so much. I wish I didn’t feel so needy, or that it didn’t slow me down. But that’s when we need to get over ourselves and surrender.

In Isaiah 55, God invites us,”Come and eat. Buy wine and bread without cost. Feed on me.” Why would we say no to this invitation? There’s no reason for us to starve. We can always be going back and asking for more, finding that truth that satisfies our souls, that carries us through the day.

Our son is going to college this summer. We had to choose a meal plan-either pay through the nose for an all-access plan in the dorms, or do what they call, “Declining Balance.” In other words, put money on a card that they can use anywhere. This plan leans heavily on finding cheap ways to eat-think cereal and ramen. Seems like a sure fire way for our son to lose weight and/or contract scurvy from lack of vegetables.

Friends, we don’t have to choose. We have the all-access plan, and the glorious part is that it’s free. We don’t have to live on a declining balance. Stopping to eat does not slow us down-it fortifies us for the journey.

So friends, let’s eat.

“Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” Isaiah 55:2b

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Question the Messages

Question the Messages
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Years ago, a hair stylist told me that I should always have bangs, and short, blond hair. And I believed her.

For years, I obeyed those rules. Whenever the crazy idea entered my head that I stray from them, her authoritative, expert voice rang in my ears, cowing me into submission.

I currently have long, brown hair, no bangs. And I like it.

Which makes me think, “What else have I taken as truth, and let guide my life, that isn’t necessarily true?”

Granted, a hairstyle isn’t life-altering. But let’s dig deeper.

What about my 15-year-old self, staring at that friendship break-up note that said I wasn’t worth being friends with anymore?

Or my college self, feeling the sting of a friend’s accusation, “You don’t care enough about relationships,” (oh yeah? tell that to 15-year-old me).

Messages about friendship. Our bodies. Our value. What we can do. What we can’t. How far we can go.

Not enough. Better to be safe than sorry. Be amazing. You don’t fit in. Be indispensable so others love you. Don’t rock the boat.

Along the way, we get marked with messages.

Those messages shape us. They shape how we see ourselves, how we present and protect ourselves. They tell us who we should be, or who we can’t be. But those messages don’t have to define us. They simply may not be true.

So we have to question them. Consider the source. Did they come from someone who was for you? Do they keep you from living freely? Do they stem from patterns over time, or from someone’s observation in a moment? Because friends, we are not moments.

When we learn to question the messages people give us, we can overcome them. Take a lesson from these fine people:

Modeling agencies told Marilyn Monroe she’d be better off as a secretary.

Rudyard Kipling was told he didn’t know how to use the English language.

Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was, “Too stupid to learn anything.”

Walt Disney got fired because he, “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” (that one makes me laugh out loud).

Imagine how different those lives would have been if they had carried those messages as truth. Friends, we wouldn’t have Disney World. Or light bulbs. Let that sink in.

So what messages are you letting shape your life?

Question them.

And then walk in the truth.

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When “Do Not Be Anxious” Isn’t Enough

When "Do Not Be Anxious" Is Not Enough
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

 

After an intense October and November last year, I finally found a day to catch my breath. Or rather, to realize how hard it was to breathe at all. My chest was tight, my heart rate elevated. All the activity of those months left much undone, and the strain of getting my footing back was overwhelming.

Most of my tension stemmed from feeling I had not planned well. I had failed to keep a restful pace. I felt pressure to live up to an image of the working mom who can have it all and set a good example doing it. And in the middle of all of it was a lack of trust that God would help me through it.

But the Bible says we shouldn’t be anxious, right? Anxiety means somewhere along the way, I must have lost faith or perspective or something.

When it arises, my desire is to eradicate it as soon as possible. Leave those negative feelings behind. So I try to do what others tell me to do, and claim Philippians 4:6, “do not be anxious about anything.”

I wish “do not be anxious” was a magic wand that instantly wiped away all the feels every time worrisome thoughts pop up. It would dissolve the physical manifestation of anxiety as well as the emotional strain.

Sometimes, when the worries are small, it does the trick. It brings my mind and heart back to the right place.

But sometimes, “do not be anxious” just isn’t enough.

Because fueling those anxious thoughts are lies. Skewed perspectives. Ruts of wrong thinking. They do not easily leave.

Behind my anxiety about my schedule is often the lie that my value comes from doing more, being successful. Worry grows when I slip into thinking I can control my world, keep all the bad from happening, make all the good come into being. The more I focus on my worries, the more my heart loses faith that He will care for me.

Those lies do not simply vanish. Our hearts will not naturally drift back to the truth on their own. We have to address what got us off course in the first place.

It’s a little like the “Just Say No” campaign from the 80’s, which failed miserably. Why?

Because while we told people to say no to something, we did not tell them what to say yes to instead. Those underlying needs that drove people to drugs were still there.

So while the admonition, “do not be anxious” is true, in order to live it well, we need to dig deeper. We can’t just say no. We need to say yes to something else.

When we say yes to truth, we can say no to anxiety.

So I go back to the words that whisper my worth, not in what I do, but who He is. I feed on His faithfulness to remind me that whatever is coming, He’s got it, just like before. When I feel the pressure to perform, I read and re-read the invitations to rest, breathe, trust. I tell myself the gospel over and over so I remember who is God and who isn’t (namely, me).

And on and on it goes. To not be anxious, we must soak ourselves in truth. Bathe in it. Breathe it in. Feed on it. Fill our minds with it so there’s no room for anything else. When we live again in what is true about us, and about Him, we can relax.

We need to talk to ourselves more than we listen to ourselves. 

It’s not always easy. It takes intentionality. But the peace that doesn’t make any sense at all in light of our circumstances is waiting at the end of our fight.

“Do not be anxious about anything” is absolutely true. There is no reason to fear anything. Peace is ours for the taking. To get there, we need to examine why we are anxious in the first place. How is the enemy lying to us? Where have our minds and hearts gone astray? What truth do we need to embrace?

Whatever is weighing our hearts, God speaks to it. His word is the yes we need to say no to anxiety.

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Why Do We Keep Ourselves from Grace?

Why Do We Keep Ourselves from Grace?
Photo by Jason Blackeye on Unsplash

When you see your child’s number appear on your phone in the middle of a school day, it’s usually not a great sign. Worse when the voice on the other end is in tears. The first thought in my mind was, “Who’s hurt? What’s broken?” (thankfully no one and nothing). Instead, I heard the story of a foolish mistake that resulted in negative (but necessary) consequences, leaving a wake of regret and embarrassment.

Throughout the day, text messages came at me, asking if I was disappointed, convinced that others were disappointed, determined that we should be disappointed. The reality was, the disappointment came from within.

Finally the words came out, “I just can’t forgive myself.” Ah, there it is. It’s not that others hadn’t forgiven. In fact, grace was abundant. Yet there was a determination to continue to stand in judgment of himself, refusing grace.

Sometimes, we’re the only ones keeping us from the grace we need.

Why do we do this?

We are hard wired for justice. The world tells us we don’t get things for free. There should be punishment for our failure. It feels right somehow to call ourselves to task. Someone must pay.

We forget Someone already has.

So we don’t allow ourselves to grab hold of the grace offered to us in times of failure. It’s our own negative self-talk that keeps us in a place of condemnation instead of resting in grace. Judge and jury hold court in our own heads. While others hold out forgiveness, we hold ourselves just beyond its grasp.

We keep ourselves in chains, when we are called live freely.

If the voice in our heads says we are out of reach of grace, it’s not God talking.

So what do we do? We claim what’s true.

I reminded my son there is only one Person in the world who has the right to judge us, and He has already made the ruling on our sin, failure, and weakness. No condemnation. Free and forgiven. Nothing we do surprises Him because He saw it before it happened. He sees more failure in us than we see, and He still forgives. Therefore, nothing makes Him withdraw grace. If He has declared us free, then our job is to agree with Him, and let ourselves off the hook.

Where our pride keeps us from owning our humanity, and shame chains us as unworthy, we must humbly accept that we are who we are-fallen people in need of grace.

Humility. Acceptance. Agreement.

Repeat and repeat and repeat, until His becomes the truest voice in our heads, overpowering our lies. This is how we unchain ourselves, and walk freely the grace we need every day.

Related posts:

Tell Me the Truth

We Need to Stop Hitting Ourselves

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