culture Archives - Gina Brenna Butz

What Will We Tell Our Children About These Tragedies?

Post author:Gina B
Post published:July 15, 2016
Post category:faith grief hope parenting

What Will We Tell Our Children About These Tragedies?

Our kids return tonight from a month long mission trip during which they have been out of contact and presumably unaware of all that is happening in the world. I wish the only thing I had to explain to them is why people are looking at their phones even more than usual, to the point of running into other people and walls and such.

Instead, after sending them off just after the Pulse shooting in our own city, we have to tell them that while they were gone, the nation was in uproar over the sudden deaths of two black men at the hands of police. We have to explain to them that during the protests that followed, five police officers were shot and killed. There were bombings in Baghdad and Turkey that killed over 300 people combined. And last night in France, more than 80 people were killed during a celebration. Lord, have mercy.

How do we deal out this information? How do we help them understand why? Part of me wants to shelter my kids from knowing the horror that this summer has brought, but they must know. They must know because we want them to be people of compassion, people of the world, people who enter in to the sorrow of others and weep with those who weep.

Will it make them fearful? I don’t know. Maybe. But I know the path to peace is not to ignore reality or choose to only see the parts of it that make us comfortable, that we agree with, that directly affects us. We cannot hide from the truth, but we can choose how we respond to it.

We can choose, as a family, to be people who cling to God. We can’t explain to our kids why all this is happening, but we can remind them that there is always hope because of who He is. We can cry out to Him for mercy, healing, strength, wisdom, compassion, guidance, help. We can be people who remember that this is not our home, He is.

So we will tell our children about the atrocities our world has seen this past month. We will tell them, not to make them fearful, but to make them aware that this is the world we live in. We will tell them that this is when we look up, not for answers, but for help, to navigate this world as people who love it well but hold it loosely.

We will cry together for the world. We will pray together for it. We will live, not in fear, but in hope, in trust, in faith. We will face the truth and respond by looking to the One who alone can save.

Either/Or Thinking in a Both/And World

Post author:Gina B
Post published:September 4, 2015
Post category:culture grace loved

Either/Or Thinking in a Both/And World

Our daughter loved watching Once Upon a Time, a wonderful show about fairy tale characters stuck in our world. She often asked me, “Is he a good guy, or a bad guy?” She wanted to know, to be sure who to like or dislike.

I had watched further than her, so I knew – those characters surprise. They weren’t as clear-cut as we imagine. I had to keep telling her, (and I’m thankful that the characters evolved to prove my point) that people aren’t good or bad. Maybe the evil queen can love. Captain Hook can be sacrificial. Snow White can make poor choices.

Sometimes issues and people aren’t either/or.

But the thing is, we want them to be. Gravitating toward black and white thinking is easier because then we feel solid. We know where we stand. Drawing lines tells us who to include, who to ignore. We know where to put our energy into defending a stance. It feels safe. We think we’re winning.

It all feels sometimes like a giant game of tug of war. This side is right. No, this one is. Either you stand with me or you stand against me. There is no middle ground. Either my side is true, or yours is.

From a Christian standpoint, this feels right. Truth isn’t relative, is it?

The problem is that we draw the circle of absolutes much larger than God does.

We label people in a way He won’t. Jesus spent the most time with people our society would call “bad.” He called out the “good” people on their hidden sin. He doesn’t categorize us in black and white terms; he sees us for the glorious messes we are, the contradictions of our hearts. Jesus sees the both/and in us.

It’s challenging for us to hold those contradictions.

Easier to pretend some of them aren’t true. We write some people off because they are not worth our attention, time, compassion. They are either heroes or villains, either good or bad.

But to be both/and people means we need to open our hearts wider. We need to sit in peoples’ stories so we can know the white police officer who is just doing the best he can, and the black man who is tired of people assuming he just doesn’t respect authority.

We can ache for unborn babies at the same time that we are shocked by the ruthless killing of animals.

While we recognize that our systems are in need of reform, our hearts still break for the desperate who try to cross borders.

We can disagree with leaders and not vilify them. When we see people living “other” than us we know that we can still be “and.”

Let’s stop being either/or people in a both/and world. Drawing lines, taking sides-these keep us from moving toward one another with the gospel.

Let us be like Jesus, who sits with people in their contradictions, the mess, the ache of the world and its fallenness, and He loves. The good news is this – He cares about all of it. We can too.

Seeing Further on Issues of Race

Post author:Gina B
Post published:July 31, 2015
Post category:culture truth

Seeing Further on Issues of Race

So, I’m white. I’m the kind of white where people make jokes about how blinded they are when my skin shows. Hilarious, really. Keep those jokes coming cause they never get old.

I grew up in a white, affluent town. I know there was one black kid in my elementary school, maybe more. There were a few Asians – two of them were my closest friends. As far as I could see, they weren’t treated any differently than me. As far as I could see.

The problem is, I couldn’t see very far. Racism was something that happened somewhere else, but it didn’t touch me there. I assumed that because I tried to treat people equally, I wasn’t part of the problem.

In the last few years, I’ve been involved in more and more conversations about race. It pains me that as a church, we are not the ones leading the way in talking about diversity, or in fighting to break down systems of racism. We should be. We are the ones who know that each of us is created in the image of our beautiful Creator. We are called to justice and freedom for the oppressed.

I’ve realized that we need to see further. Here’s how I’m learning to do that:

First, it doesn’t serve anyone to say, “I don’t see color.” I understand the sentiment behind this because for a long time I said the same myself. But I think of my Asian friends and how often they are asked where they are from, or are told how good their English is (though they were born in America). I think of my black friends, who get pulled over for driving in nice neighborhoods and asked what they’re doing there, or complimented for being “so well spoken” (as though that’s a surprise). I think of the stories I have heard from people of color of not being seen because they are in the minority, of imbalances of power and opportunity due to the color of someone’s skin. I need to know these stories, and enter in to the heartache of them. I must see what other people experience.

It doesn’t serve anyone to say that because I have lived in another country where I was a minority somehow I understand what it feels like to BE a minority. I spent 13 years in that position, and never did I feel I was treated poorly because of my skin color. If anything, I was envied. And if I did live in a place where I was hated because of my skin, I would have the power to leave. That’s a choice so many cannot make. It’s not about being the majority or minority culture, but about what culture dominates. Being white brings privilege. I must see my privilege.

Yes, we have privilege. It doesn’t serve anyone to deny the existence of white privilege. The very fact that we can ignore its existence is, in itself, a privilege. I never have to think about the fact that I am white. I never have to wonder if someone is treating me differently because of the color of my skin. Seeing my privilege reminds me that all is not equal. It helps me see where things need to change.

It doesn’t serve anyone to say, “If you just stay on the right side of the law,” or “if you just work hard and make the most of your opportunities,” you’ll do well. I’m seeing more and more that people can do everything right, but if you have the wrong color skin you can get pulled over for minor infractions and be killed. It is hard to admit that we have a system that has for compounded generations been biased toward the white majority; even harder to admit that I benefit from that system. I must see what that gives me that others do not have.

Racism grieves the heart of God, because all of us are created to be a reflection of His glory. We are all image bearers, every last one of us. He sees it all. I want to see what He sees.

We cannot stand at a distance and condemn obvious acts of racism, thinking we are absolved from the issues. We have to come close, to see how we are part of the problem, to hear the real stories of how racism impacts our brothers and sisters, and work for justice.

Silence is not neutrality. Silence is complicity. We can opt out of this conversation, but so many cannot. We need to opt in because God wants us together. We need to see further.

The Extraordinary Childhood of a Third Culture Kid

Post author:Gina B
Post published:March 30, 2015
Post category:culture parenting third culture kids

The Extraordinary Life of a Third Culture Kid — photo by Gina Butz

I grew up on a corner lot with a huge backyard across the street from a giant park. The world was our plush, Kentucky bluegrass playground.

Our kids grew up surrounded by concrete. The nearest decent patch of grass was a solid mile away across a busy street.

One day, when they were littles, I lamented this fact to God. I felt like our kids were missing out on a “normal” childhood by being Third Culture Kids (TCKs). His clear response to me was, “Really, Gina? Your kids have ridden elephants in Thailand and climbed the Great Wall. They have been exposed to cultures and languages most people don’t see in their lifetimes. Is this not good enough?”

He made a strong argument.

Our kids never ate Cheerios or played little league or rode in car seats (yeehaw!). I always feared that their strange upbringing would be a source of distancing from friends here in the States. Instead, it seems to have given them some street cred.

Lately, our kids and their friends have shared more stories about this sad, grassless childhood with other kids school which has led to one girl declaring that she wants to be adopted into our family so she can travel with us (perhaps she doesn’t know she could go on her own?). As the stories come out about exotic places they’ve been and lived, the admiration climbs. It led Ethan’s friend and fellow TCK to say to me one day, “I think I’m realizing I have lived a good life.” Yes, yes you have.

In lamenting the fact that I couldn’t give our children a “normal” childhood, in some ways I missed the fact that we were giving them an extraordinary one. No, they don’t exactly know what to do with a backyard, but they can navigate an airport on their own. They can’t tell you how an American baseball game is played but they have road tripped between countries.

Being a Third Culture Kid comes with its gaps in experience, but the experiences they have are so incredibly rich that I wouldn’t trade them. I’m thankful that our kids spent their formative years in other cultures. More than that, I’m so thankful that they consider it a blessing as well.

A Different Childhood

What I’ve Learned About Orlando

Post author:Gina B
Post published:April 28, 2014
Post category:transition

After just over a year in Orlando, I’ve learned a bit about my new surroundings:

1. There are not many palm trees. I thought I was moving to a tropical location, but it’s populated by pine trees (especially our area, aptly named Isle of Pines) and deciduous trees. I could believe I’m in northern Minnesota, unless I’m at the beach or Disney, where palms do grow. Ok, technically we do have a palm tree in our backyard, but it’s not natural. I thought there’d be more palms.

2. I can need my sunglasses and my windshield wipers alternately and repeatedly within the span of a few miles, as the weather here is ever-changing.

3. There are no tornado sirens here, even though there are tornadoes, so the impetus is on you, fair citizen of Orlando, to prevent your own demise.

4. There is a lot of wildlife. I am not accustomed to this, as in China there was only the occasional bird or cockroach. Here I’ve seen armadillos, snakes, raccoons, possums, deer, vultures, sand cranes, and one gator. Only one.

5. I’ve said it before, but I was told there’d be gators. I’m so disappointed. I’ve only seen one, and when I did I freaked out like a kid on Christmas.

6. I should have kept up on my Spanish. One phrase I do remember, that I’m hoping I can pull out sometime is, “Ayude! He caido y no puedo levantarme. Y estoy teniendo dolores de pecho!” One of these days, I’m going to need that, and all those years of Spanish will pay off.

7. Orlando likes to build community sub-divisions, like the Truman Show. I expect everyone to pull out of their garages at the same time and drive to work.

8. There are beautiful sunsets here. They’re so common that my standards for what constitutes a worthwhile sunset have risen quite high.

9. I still need a winter wardrobe, but for the indoors, just like in Singapore. People typically set the thermostat at 70 degrees. To me, 90 and above is shorts weather. 80 to 90 is cropped pants weather. below 80 is call for pants. Below 70 requires layers. Hence, winter wardrobe.

All in all, I like it. It’s fun to get to know a new place, to add it to our collection of places we know and love. Come on down and visit – we can sit under the pines, watch the sunset, and look for gators.

Weekly Word – God is God

Post author:Gina B
Post published:April 1, 2014
Post category:faith word of the year

I swear I was not living under a rock for the past decade or so – just 6,000 miles away, give or take. Somehow, during all that time, I managed to live in blissful ignorance of the conversations, arguments, and divides that are taking place in the church today. Either that, or I came back just in time to witness them. Lucky me!

I don’t share much about my personal views on controversial issues here, mostly because I don’t feel led to do so. I watch, though, as others, particularly in the past week, draw more and more lines in the sand intended to separate one faction from another.

It’s discouraging to see, and I can’t help feeling like our energy is being wasted on all these arguments and not on leading people to the Kingdom. It’s enough for me to just say, “Oh Lord Jesus, come now.”

So I stopped last week and said, “God, what does it look like for me to stay in this mess of a church and abide in you?” And the thought that came to mind was, “God is God.”

He is greater than all this. He doesn’t sit afar wringing His hands, hoping we get it right. He is at work, even in all this.

And that’s enough for me. In the end, all will be clear. All theological arguments will be answered. I can believe whatever I want, but in the end there will be truth and maybe I will be right and maybe I will be wrong. I just hope I can say that I lived in such a way that I drew more people to Him. I hope I am known more for who and how I love than what I am against. I hope He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I hope He will be pleased.

So today I will abide in this: God is God.

Guest Post: Cross-Cultural Artistry

Post author:Gina B
Post published:March 12, 2014
Post category:Uncategorized

We have had the privilege, over the years, to serve with some amazing leaders; one of the leaders I admire the most is Ken Cochrum. We served with Ken in Singapore back in the day, and we’re happy that our move to Orlando put us back on a team with him and his beautiful wife, Ann.

Ken has incredible vision and communicates with passion and conviction. All that is backed up by a deep walk with Jesus and and love for Him and others. Recently, I was honored to help edit his new book, CLOSE: Leading Well Across Distance and Cultures. If anyone has the experience and wisdom to speak to this topic, it’s Ken.

Today is the launch of his book and by way of introduction, I’m having him guest post on my blog. I’ve asked him to share a little of his heart with you. If you, or someone you know, are in leadership, his book is a must have!

Ken writes:
I loved Gina’s recent post, Do It Scared. She captures well the visceral tension we creatives face: the ambition to produce something worthy vs. the fear of putting ourselves out there.

As a leader who writes and as a musician who often plays live in front of hundreds of people, I experience that tension and fear all the time. What is leadership if not creative artistry? Good leadership is all about painting a watercolor vision in the hearts and minds of those around us while intentionally asking for, receiving, and responding to critique about what’s on our shared canvas. The fruit of this creative process is putting ourselves, or our art, or maybe even our lives, out on display where our friends and enemies are free to love it, hate it, praise it, or criticize it. Then we repeat the process.

I can think of no greater snapshot of this creative process lived out than Jesus’ prayer in the garden on the night he was taken away to be unjustly condemned, beaten senseless, rejected by foes and friends, then nailed to a cross and left to die. “My Father,” he prayed, “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

Jesus did it scared.

Our creator God invites those in his family to press into our culture and to explore creative ways to ‘do it scared’ every day. I recently completed a book that would not have made it from “final draft” to “final” without Gina’s editorial skills. In CLOSE: Leading Well Across Distance and Cultures, I observe that:

All cultures are relational; God designed people to interact. Cultures simply express their relational-ness in different ways. God’s love for every nation invites—even requires—Christians who regularly lead across cultural boundaries to take cross-cultural fluency seriously.

Thanks, Gina, for taking cross-cultural fluency seriously.

If you’re interested in reading more, please visit Amazon.com to check out CLOSE.

Ken Cochrum serves as VP of Global Digital Strategies for Cru and blogs regularly at http://www.onleadingwell.com.

The Words that Linger

Post author:Gina B
Post published:March 5, 2014
Post category:culture

People often ask me if I am fluent in Mandarin. The short answer is “no.” To me, fluency means “I can say everything in that language” by which definition all those people who say they are fluent in Spanish after their 4 years of high school classes are mistaken.

I cannot say many things in Mandarin, like ceiling or fertilizer or thumb tack. Never needed to. But I would call myself “functionally fluent” which means I could talk about that wall above me, or the stuff to put on the ground to make the plants grow, or a small thing to make my paper hang on the wall. I am a master at talking around the word I don’t know, like a linguist game of $10,000 Pyramid.

Despite my lack of fluency, there are certain words that I adopted during our time overseas which I may never lose, as they have become part of my vocabulary. I thought I’d take the time to share them today, just for fun. And they are:

加油：(pronounced ‘jah yo’) This literally means ‘add oil.’ It’s the Chinese way of cheering people on. Like ‘you’re competing in the Olympics? 加油!’ or ‘Your husband is gone for how long? Bummer. ‘加油!’ (you can guess which of those applies to me).

不好意思: (boo how ee suh) We were taught this means ’embarrassed’ but it’s more than that. It’s the catch all word for ‘this situation is awkward for me, and probably for you too.’ There were lots of ‘bu hao yi si’ moments overseas. I seem to have them here too.

麻烦: (mah fahn) Ah, ‘mafan.’ Maybe my favorite word. It means ‘inconvenient’ or ‘troublesome’ but saying those long words is too mafan, so we say this.

那个谁: (ney guh shay) This is the colloquial way to say, ‘What’s his face.’

厉害: (lee high) Ah, ‘lihai.’ There’s just no English equivalent. It means ‘intense’ or ‘serious’ or ‘powerful’ but in a good, striving for excellence kind of way. Like, ‘he studies 6 hours a night? Wah, he’s so lihai!” said with admiration.

就是这样: (jiew sure jay yahng) ‘That’s just the way it is.’ Like when you finish cutting your husband’s hair and know that’s the best you’re going to do, you say, ‘jiu shi zhe yang.’

快点儿: (kw-eye dee ar) As parents, we often employ the phrase ‘hurry up.’ I prefer to use the Chinese version, “kuai dianr!” (with my best northern accent, adding r to the end). My kids always respond, “I’m kuai dianr-ing!!” They’re just as annoyed with it in Chinese as in English, maybe more so.

These are some of the ones that linger. They tend to come out in conversation here, even with those who don’t understand, but now that you know them you can join in with me!

No Substitute for Relationships

Post author:Gina B
Post published:February 13, 2014
Post category:culture

Truth be told, I’ve started dreaming of the day when we say to one another, “Remember when social media was so popular? Yeah, that was nutty. Thank God it’s over.”

Realistically, I suppose it never will be, but lately I’ve found myself so aware of the downside of these interactions. They are communication rich but relationally poor. Yes, I know what is happening in the lives of people I would otherwise probably never contact (and many of them I would like to contact) and that’s maybe the reason I don’t quit altogether.

But it’s also become the equivalent of an increasingly crowded party where people fight for air time, value is measured in likes and retweets, a marketplace for comparison and shaming. Comments that seem witty on Twitter if said aloud in company to a person’s face would be unacceptably rude. It’s an environment where there is little accountability for the impact of our social interactions. People talk about being in “community” online, but it falls so short of what true community looks like.

Sometimes social media feels like a train rushing off somewhere to interesting places, and we’d better hop on or we’ll lose out. But the reality is that there is nothing new under the sun – that train is just circling the block over and over again, only in greater volume and with stronger opinions than before. What would happen if we shut down the noise? What if tomorrow Facebook and Twitter and Reddit and Tumblr and Instagram ceased to exist? Would we lose anything? Or would we gain?

I wonder if it would give us space to connect with people again, really. It might force us to call those people we wouldn’t see on Facebook. It would blow away the chaff of unnecessary information and opinions that are thrown out there. It might force people to be accountable for their words again.

I’m not saying social media cannot be used for good. I just want to remind all of us not to let it be a substitute for true connection. Like someone who snacks all day and never takes in a full meal, we can waste all our relational energy on surface connection and never reach true depth with others.

There is no substitute for real relationships. What we need is not one more person to validate our opinions or like our activities. We need people who linger with us for more than 140 words. We need people who will call us on what we say and how we say it. We don’t need the world to tell us our worth. We need real people. We need real interactions. There is no substitute.

IKEA . . . or . . . Excuse Me, Can I Follow You?

Post author:Gina B
Post published:December 7, 2012
Post category:culture transition

Trust IKEA to be my cultural undoing again. I successfully navigated my way there today to find a few things for our house that I simply cannot find anywhere else, like all the shelf hooks that are missing from our IKEA bookshelf. They must have decided to head back to Sweden instead of migrating here with us.

It wasn’t as unnerving as the other time I’ve been there in the US, possibly because there were more people. There still weren’t enough Asians though. Every time I saw one, I literally felt more at ease. Something about seeing Asian faces made me feel like everything was right with the world. I was tempted even to follow them around the store like a creepy stalker. If I were emotionally less stable right now I probably would have, but thankfully I’m doing ok. I settled for just being happy whenever I saw them.

On the other hand, I was also cheered by the fact that I could read all the signs and that the meatballs are cheaper here.