gifts Archives - Gina Brenna Butz

Owning Our Dignity

Post author:Gina B
Post published:November 7, 2019
Post category:identity

Speaking with my friend and spiritual director, Judy, I mentioned that I sometimes downplay my competency in front of others. My fear is that if people see me living at my full and generally high capacity, they’ll think I’m, well, a little “extra.”

“Gina, your competency is a gift. Your 3ness is a gift.”

For those of you wondering why she called me a number, she was referring to the fact that I identify as an Enneagram type 3, otherwise known as The Performer or The Achiever.

(Side note: If you want to be my instant friend, talk to me about the Enneagram. Unless, of course, you start with something like, “I think the Enneagram is a crock!” in which case I will probably always side-eye you).

In my desire to be self-aware (in which the Enneagram has been incredibly helpful) I have been more conscious of the negative side of being wired the way I am than the positive. I recognize my inclination toward image management, competitiveness, and workaholism. I’ve become conscious of when I’m “turning it on” to impress others.

Whenever we engage in a journey of self-awareness and begin to see the darker side of our strengths, it can be discouraging. It’s sobering to see how we fail to love and live well. It often leads to contempt and disappointment with ourselves.

But what Judy said to me jolted me back to the reality that we are much more than our depravity. We also carry dignity. God has given us strengths that bring Him glory when we use them.

We are meant to live that to the fullest.

Owning Our Dignity

So there’s a capacity in me, in my competency, that is a gift from God. On my own, I may use that capacity to cultivate a successful image for my own glory. But when I allow Him to fill me and use me, that capacity can accomplish a lot for His kingdom. Holding back on that is holding back on what He made me for.

The same goes for each of us. There’s something in each of us that is God-given and good. When refined by His Spirit, it is a gift to the world.

You don’t need to know your number on the Enneagram to know that you are created in His image. And you don’t need to identify some type to recognize the gifts He has given you. On your own, yes, you might use them for your own purposes. But how might He take them and use them for good?

As kids, we sang, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.” Part of that light is the imago dei we bear. It’s His Spirit living in us as He promised. Our gifts and strengths shine a light, pointing the way to God.

So let’s own our dignity as well as our depravity. The latter leads us to repentance and redemption. The former glorifies God.

Related posts:

Redefining Success

Leaving Our Kingdoms Behind

Why I Love the Enneagram

The Gift that Snuck into the World (for You)

Post author:Gina B
Post published:December 21, 2017
Post category:Christmas

I was eleven when I decided to play Santa Claus.

Somewhere along the way, I realized it was my parents who filled my stocking, not him. It felt unfair that they filled mine and not the other way around. I wanted to give them a gift.

So a few days before Christmas, I trekked to the flower shop my aunt owned, where I purchased two little apple ornaments. My aunt painted my parents’ names on them for me.

I could barely sleep on Christmas Eve. 3 a.m. seemed like the perfect time for my stealth mission, so I set an alarm. When it chimed, I crept down the stairs and tucked those ornaments into my parents’ stockings.

The next morning, while everyone else dug in, I watched. My parents pulled out the unexpected items and gave them curious stares. Looking back, they must have thought it was a gift from the other, and not the snazziest gift ever. I didn’t care. I was so happy to give them something nothing else mattered.

This story came to mind recently as I look ahead to Christmas. I can see how, in a way, it’s reflective of the nativity.

Because you see, there is no Santa Claus (I apologize to anyone whose child might be reading over their shoulder). But there is Someone who gives and gives, to everyone, everywhere.

Can you imagine His anticipation of Christmas? Not just a few days, or weeks, but years upon years. How did He stand the waiting? He knew what He had in store.

And then, at just the perfect time, He snuck Jesus into the world. What an unassuming package.

Most people didn’t even know what happened that night. Those who did had to wonder, “Is this it? Is this what we’ve been waiting for?” This baby was so unexpected.

I imagine God watching it all unfold, so overjoyed to give us this gift. He knew what it meant for them, and what it would mean for us, 2,000 years later.

I want the exchange of gifts this year to remind me of this truth: He is present in every one of them. We give because He gave. The joy we experience is a pale reflection of the joy He has in seeing His plan fulfilled.

There is no greater gift, and He rejoices to give it to us.

Why I Don’t Teach Sunday School . . . or . . . Finding My Yes

Post author:Gina B
Post published:January 26, 2017
Post category:expectations grace identity

Why I Won't Teach Sunday School . . . or Finding My Yes — photo by Jorigė Kuzmaitė

You will never see me teaching Sunday School to children.

It took me years to be able to say that without embarrassment. What kind of person isn’t willing to teach children? Does Gina not like children? Does she not see the great potential in shepherding young souls? These are the questions I was sure people would ask.

When my kids were little, and someone stood up front at church to talk about how important children’s ministry is (I swear in the background I could hear Whitney Houston singing, “I believe the children are our future . . .”) I would sink down in my seat, refusing to make eye contact, feeling terrible.

Then, one day, it hit me, “I am not called to this.” And suddenly I was free. I felt like Phoebe, in the pilot episode of Friends:

I don’t want to because it’s not what I’m supposed to do.

My calling is to other activities, things that you probably don’t want to do. I know this, because often when I tell people what I enjoy doing, they get a look on their face like they just smelled something weird. They would hate what I love. And that is as it should be.

We weren’t all given the same passions or gifts. How boring would that be? And ineffective. This isn’t Divergent. Five factions isn’t going to cut it.

Since coming back to the States, I have had opportunities to minister in a variety of ways unavailable to me overseas, which is fabulous.

What’s hard is discerning what I should and shouldn’t do.

At first, I felt I should say yes to everything because if I didn’t they might stop offering. Over time I’ve learned that when I say no to less ideal opportunities, it leaves space to pursue that which I love. God knows the good way I should walk, and He can guide me to the best yeses.

There is great freedom and joy in knowing that I am learning to give my time to what I am created to do, rather than just doing what I see, or what is asked of me. I want to give my energy to the activities God has for me, not what others want me to do.

In saying no, I am leaving space for someone who truly IS called to do that.

And I hope she does. She probably will, because she wants to say yes. And I will say yes somewhere else. There, we will both find joy and life.

So go ahead, ask me to teach Sunday School. I will politely decline and feel no remorse. It’s just not my calling.

What about you? What are you saying yes to today?

Related posts:

Stand at the Crossroads

Learning to Respect My Limits