scripture

Stand at the Crossroads

Stand at the Crossroads
Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash

It would never have been in my plans to make an international move pregnant, but that is exactly what I did in the fall of ‘99. When I was thrown into the newness of being a first time mama six months later, I was still wrestling to grasp a language as different from English as possible, learning how to lead a ministry alongside my husband, and finding my place in a new culture.

I was swimming in transition.

My love for our host country, coupled with a deep need for external validation, drove me through the spring to squeeze life out of every hour: studying the language while our son napped, taking him with me to meet students, our team passing him around as we met and planned. I once nursed him with one arm while wiping a poop explosion off the wall with baby wipes so I could finish in time to meet a student for discipleship.

I wanted to do it all. Six months later, I was overwhelmed.

To read the rest of the story, and how God used this verse from Jeremiah to minister to me, go to my guest post at (in)courage here:  Stand at the Crossroads

never miss a post

Continue ReadingStand at the Crossroads

Gentle Whisper

  • Post author:
  • Post category:rest

Last week I was on the internet going a little crazy following rabbit trails on some new writing websites I found. They were giving me ideas about how to improve my writing and expand my audience, and after awhile I realized that I had gone beyond, “Hmm . . . helpful input” to, “How do I get to be as amazing as these people?” and that, my friends, is when all wise people should close the computer and walk away.

So I did. I went up into my room, sat in my corner chair, and just took a deep breath. I sat there until my heart was rested again and I could get God’s perspective on the balance between wisely making the most of the opportunities He gives me, and trusting that what I have and who I am is where He wants me to be right now.

It reminded me of Elijah, who sought God on a mountain. He waited and listened for God.

First a powerful wind came. Then, an earthquake, and finally a fire passed by.

God wasn’t in those. God was in the gentle whisper.

We have to step away from the noise from time to time to simply be in His presence, and listen to His voice telling us what’s true.

He comes most often in silence.

I wrote a poem about this, back in my angst-filled, poetry writing days (I miss the poetry writing, but not the angst). Here it is, enjoy:

My Bit of Heaven

Not in the powerful wind,
nor the earthquake, nor the fire,
He came in the gentle whisper.

I Kings 19:11-13

My soul longs for solitude,
like a desert thirsts for water
And somewhere out there,
the solitude is calling me.

In search of it I find
Black cutout trees against an orange sky.
Snow lays unbroken, pure, white
as the peace it pours over me.

A single leaf is hurried
Scattering across the white in
reckless ignorance to the stillness it is in,
Too much like me.

I breathe in the silence
and realize I’m home.
His gift to me is a bit of heaven
filling my heart, loved poured in by the Spirit.

I only find it in the gentle whisper.

never miss a post

Continue ReadingGentle Whisper

Salvation Is Coming

Our family has been reading through the Bible in a year, and we’re nearing the finish line! I can’t say I’ve spent extensive time in the minor prophets, which is where we are now. It’s fairly gloomy. But yesterday I read something that seemed quite timely, from Micah 5:2, 4:

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me
one who will be ruler over Israel,
whose origins are from of old,
from ancient times.”

He will stand and shepherd his flock
in the strength of the Lord,
in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.
And they will live securely, for then his greatness
will reach to the ends of the earth.

What amazes me is that this was written more than 400 years before Jesus was born. And it hit me – God’s timing is definitely different than ours. It says in 2 Peter 3:9 that God is not slow in keeping His promises, as some understand slowness. I must understand slowness not like God then because 400 years is not my idea of a quick answer to prayer. Really, it was even longer than that for the Israelites who were waiting for a Savior.

But I believe He came at just the right time. I guess that gives me hope, today, when I think about the things I wait for. I haven’t had to wait anywhere close to a long time for an answer to prayer, relative to the Israelites, but it can be difficult just the same. We pray, we hope, we wait, we are tempted to despair. But God’s timing is good. Keep waiting. Salvation is coming.

never miss a post

Continue ReadingSalvation Is Coming

More Than Conquerors

Ah, sweet victory – I’m done! I could stop here and say that my victory today is crossing the finish line, completing the challenge, but I feel it would be a good time to stop and reflect on what I’m taking with me from this month.

Sometimes in life there are clear victories, victories that even the world has to stop and commend as well done. Epic victories, if you will.

Other days, they’re smaller. Maybe like finding new awesome pants, or making a Halloween costume in 5 minutes (yep, did that today) or avoiding a $164 ticket.

But most days you have to look harder. You have to look past what the world values as worth celebrating, and recognize where the victory really is. It feels like for me it’s usually in the small choices I make – grace, joy, peace, patience, where they wouldn’t have been otherwise.

But for the days when it seems no victory is in sight, there is always one. The awesome truth I’m claiming as victory today is this: we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. No matter what happens today, I’m coming out ahead in the end because I have Him on my side. That’s a victory no one can take away.

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57

Are you claiming your victory in Him today?

Continue ReadingMore Than Conquerors

Faithful in Prayer

My victory came late last night, and today was full. Hence, day 30 at the end of day 31.

When we lived overseas, I met weekly with two dear friends of mine. Toward the end of my time there, we were joined by yet another friend. We would share with each other how we were doing and how they could pray for us, and then we would pray. We laughed. We cried. We wrestled with God for each other. Those were some of my most honest moments. Good stuff.

Since coming here, it’s been one of the things I’ve missed the most. The four of us currently live in four locations in three countries. Time zones are not our friend. Still, we have been trying to make a habit this fall, every other Wednesday, to google chat together. Last time we never successfully got all four of us on at the same time (we are not the most tech savvy bunch). Last night it looked like it might happen again.

But it didn’t. We muddled through decent connections and a dropped call or two, shared our requests, and finished by muting our mics and praying together. I have a note app on my phone in which I have recorded all the requests we’ve made over the last year. As we prayed, I scrolled through it, looking at past struggles and answered prayers, and I thought, “This is victory.”

“For where two or three gather in My name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18:20

What are you calling victory today?

Continue ReadingFaithful in Prayer

Perfect Peace

Did you know that if you say you’re having chest pains at the ER, you get in immediately? So you could say, “I broke my arm. And also, I’m having chest pains,” and you’d be at the front of the line. I will warn you, though, chest pains will result in lots of expensive testing. You need to decide how much money that time you just saved is worth to you. Your call.

I know this, because that’s what I did this morning. I’ll skip to the punch line and declare that my victory of the day is not dying from a heart attack at the age of 40!

Well, I could stop there, but the bigger victory for me is the way God led me to respond to this emergency. Around 7:30 this morning I started experiencing pain in the right side of my chest. Taking deep breaths hurt a lot, which caused, naturally, shortness of breath. My inhaler didn’t seem to do much so we sent the kids to school with someone else (shout out to my awesome friend Jenny for stepping in with 10 minutes to get ready!) and Erik took me to the ER.

As we were arranging all this, and googling, “heart attack symptoms women,” I started to be very fearful, panicked really. (FYI panicking when you are having trouble breathing is a poor choice). We climbed in the car and started driving, and I started to pray. That was when God reminded me of Isaiah 26:3-4, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, for he trusts in you. Trust in him at all times, O people, for the Lord, the Lord is the rock eternal.”

And right there was my victory, and it was all God. Because as I read those words over and over, I just felt held in his perfect peace. Whatever happened, I was in his hands.

So as we spent 4 hours in the emergency room getting my blood test, chest X-ray, and CT scan, I was at peace, because he kept me there. And you know what? It all turned out exactly the same way that it would have had I gone into it with fear. Except everyone had a much more enjoyable experience because Gina stressed is not a blessing to anyone.

They don’t know what happened. They suspect, and so do I, that it was something muscular that caused my chest, then back, then neck to tense up and constrict my breathing. This is wonderful justification for me to have regular massages to keep my muscles relaxed. I’d rather do them for $4 on the beach in Thailand with a lime drink in my hand, but I’ll take what I can get.

Where did you see victory today?

Continue ReadingPerfect Peace

The Eye of the Storm

We haven’t yet had the full force of hurricane season here, but I anticipate that it will be interesting. In our kids’ school binders, several of the teachers have typed in a “hurricane alternative” curriculum for the days we’re stuck at home. Like a snow day I guess! I’m sure we’ll get to know the weather reporters on the local news well.

I feel like a weather reporter myself sometimes when it comes to updates about our transition, “The subtropical storm depression Gina from last week has temporarily subsized, but from the north side of the house we are detecting a storm surge from potential tropical storm Ethan. Parents, be advised.”

Yes, if it’s not one of us, it’s another. As I lay awake the other night praying about this, God reminded me that He has seen thousands, hundreds of thousands, nay probably millions of people, through transitions. He walked through those with them; He will walk with us.  He controls the wind, the rain. He is my eye of the storm, the shelter.

“Seek the Lord and his strength. Seek his presence continually!” Psalm 105:4

Continue ReadingThe Eye of the Storm

Enough

  • Post author:
  • Post category:faith

Throughout our time in Asia, God reminded me of a verse from Psalm 16:5, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup.” I took that to mean that whatever came my way, He was in control of it, and it was good for me and my growth in Christlikeness.

I can’t tell you how many times it didn’t feel like that was true. When you’re standing on the street corner with your 3 month old strapped to your chest and three consecutive cabs that you hail get snaked by other people, you can tell yourself, “This is assigned, this is assigned, this assigned” but it’s not easy to rest in. I’d rather have the ride to the hospital than a lesson in patience and forgiveness, thank you very much.

Lately, though, I’ve been looking at this verse differently (and not because I’m hoping it means I get to skirt tough situations). When I read it in the ESV, it says, “Lord, YOU are my chosen portion and my cup.” Huh. That takes me out of my circumstances altogether.

Over and over through these last few months, God has brought me back to this truth: He is enough for me. He is all that I need. He is what satisfies.

Our hearts are wily beasts. They hunger and thirst and desire and want. I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong. But I know that when I hunger and thirst and desire and want things outside of God, I will inevitable be disappointed. They will become idols, idols who cannot satisfy.

So He calls me back to Him, to desiring Him. He calls me back to see that He is enough. He is what I truly want. He is exactly all I need.

He is enough.

Continue ReadingEnough

Bread Upon the Waters

This afternoon I had the opportunity to share a few thoughts about our transition at our World Wide Day of Prayer. It should be noted that until last night, I was imagining the WWDOP here the way it happened in previous years – about 40 of us in a basement sitting around tables. It was good for me to know, at least somewhat in advance, that we would be speaking in front of ALL the staff of Cru. Good thing public speaking is something I enjoy!

As I shared, I was reminded of Ecclesiastes 11. I once spent a good part of a summer meditating on that chapter. If you read it, you will probably think, “Wow. Seemingly one of the more confusing ramblings of the Old Testament.” But God really spoke to me through it, to the point where I wrote one of my favorite poems about it.

And THAT is the point of my story. See, I always get around to it eventually. I wrote all that to introduce the fact that – ta da! – I want to share one of my poems. You might want to read Ecclesiastes 11:1-6 first to get some context. In short, what I read from it is, “You really don’t know what God is going to do. Just focus on being filled with His Spirit and being expectant, and see what He does.”

Bread Upon the Waters

Blow you winds where you will
only let that it may be
upon my back pushing me onward
causing my life to be
as bread upon the waters
poured forth heedlessly
yet anchored to You

I will take no thought of it
for where I fall, there will I lie
as I am filled, therefore will I rain
Rain upon the waters
Life returning to life
Take me, fill me, cast me out
on the path of your wind
O Maker of all things.

Continue ReadingBread Upon the Waters

I Am an Israelite

As a family, we’ve been reading the Bible in a year together. At the same time, the church we’ve been attending is going through something called The Story, which is a 30 week overview of the Bible. We decided to throw in The History Channel’s The Bible series for good measure. We are immersed.

One of the things that always gets me when I read the Old Testament is how the Israelites can seem so dense. I mean, seriously – God parts the Red Sea for you to walk through, and about a minute later you’re complaining that you want to go back to Egypt?

He provides food out of nowhere, but still you must grumble?

The leader goes away for a little while and you decide the best option is to make a farm animal out of perfectly good jewelry to worship?

So fickle. So quick to forget. So untrusting.

So much like me.

Sigh. The truth is, I am an Israelite. I have seen God do amazing things in my lifetime, both around me and in me. But give me a new circumstance, a new place in life, and I too often forget what God has done and who He is.

I look at myself, my own resources, my lack, and I lose heart.

That is what I have done these last few weeks, and it has not been pretty, my friends. Not. Pretty.

Isn’t that what the Israelites did? They took their eyes off who God is and looked at their circumstances through their own eyes. God didn’t change – their perspective did. They just plain forgot who they were dealing with.

Which is why Moses, in Deuteronomy, tells them about 100 times “do not forget the Lord.”

Remember what He has done.

Remember who He is.

That same God who parted the Red Sea? He’s with you in your move. He’s going ahead of you to find that house. He’s here in Orlando. He’s got plans for you.

When I realized this a couple of days ago, I took some time to sit down, confess it to God, and to remind myself of who He is.

He is good, He sees me, He is able, He is love. It doesn’t matter the circumstances, it matters who we’re looking at to take care of them.

Continue ReadingI Am an Israelite

End of content

No more pages to load

Older Posts