I know it’s tempting to light a match to the dumpster of 2020 and walk away. It’s been rough.
But let’s not be hasty. Because in between the pandemic and the racial tension and the election and the Tiger King, there was good.
Scripture tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. Not necessarily FOR all circumstances, but IN all circumstances. In the midst of trials, we always have reasons to be grateful, because God never stops doing good to us. And I’ve found that when I practice gratitude IN my circumstances, it’s not such a leap to also thank Him FOR the challenges as well. He is in it all.
So as we look back, as always, we mourn and we rejoice. We give ourselves the necessary space to grieve the losses, so we can make room in our hearts to celebrate the goodness.
To that end, I offer another year-end review for you (click on the graphic below to download). I hope this helps you look back and mine for the good while you also honor what you have lost. And yes, hopefully, it will all help us look forward to 2021 and trust that better things are on the way.
Have you ever played a game driving where you look for a certain color car? Like you say, “Let’s count all the blue cars.” (this may or may not be something only parents trying to entertain young children can relate to).
When you start looking, suddenly they’re all you see. Try it. Choose a color, and look for it around you. You notice it where you didn’t realize it was before. It’s everywhere, right?
I’ve realized gratitude works the same way.
The Practice of Gratitude
As we come upon Thanksgiving, I wonder if we are struggling to find things to be grateful for. It’s been a wild year. It would be so easy to focus on the negative, on what we lack, on what we’ve missed.
And gratitude is something we often do when we feel like it, or when it’s expected. Like after the giving of a gift, or when someone lends a helping hand. (Are people giving gifts right now? Anybody helping someone else in person?) It’s not something we always think to do.
But I’m also learning that gratitude is something we have to practice. It has to become a liturgy in our lives, something that flows out of us like breath.
And when we do, when we start looking for the good in our lives, we start to see it. We’re training our eyes to see God at work. It’s not that He hasn’t been there all along. We just weren’t seeing it.
This fall our pastor led us through the book of Ruth. There’s a point in the story where the author says, “she happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz.” It got us talking about this phrase, “It so happened.” We say it sometimes. But really, does anything just so happen?
Those “it so happened” moments are God. We need to train our eyes to recognize that fact.
Training Our Eyes to See the Good
So when we make a habit of saying “thank you, Jesus,” about the good gifts in our lives, we begin to see that He is at work all around us. We recognize that those “it so happened” moments didn’t just so happen. God never stops doing good to us.
For me, it helps to start at a granular level. I have breath in my lungs today. There’s a roof over my head. I have clothes on my back and food in my belly. Every one of those things is a gift of grace I did not earn or deserve.
When we start there, we see good everywhere. We see it in a timely text from a friend, a blessedly cooler day here in central Florida (it’s November for Pete’s sake!), in satisfying work. It’s our kid getting through another day of online classes, a moment of feeling normal in the middle of a pandemic, seeing a familiar face on a call.
There’s so much we take for granted every day, so many ways God is showing up and giving to us, and our souls are blessed when we acknowledge it. We are reminded that we are not alone-He is with us and He is for us. Always.
God’s goodness is the blue car we can see everywhere if we train our eyes to look.
“Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.” Psalm 107:8-9
Raise your hand if, somewhere along the way, you learned the ACTS prayer?
If you aren’t familiar with it, this acronym stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. (because who doesn’t call prayer requests, “supplication?” As in, “I’m supplicating for you.” I’m going to start saying this).
Whether intended or not, (and I’m sure it wasn’t), the first three felt to me like some sort of payment.
Like I didn’t have a right to ask anything unless I had duly praised God first. Throw in some confession for good measure. And just in case He wasn’t placated, I should thank Him for a few things.
Then, and only then, could I ask for something.
I always wondered if I’d done enough of the first three to warrant the fourth, or if God was looking at me with my favorite emoji face, one eyebrow flat, the other raised, “Really, Gina? You think that’s enough?”
Honestly, it discouraged me from praying. Too much work.
Along the way, I suppose I realized that’s NOT how prayer works, and I became more comfortable just asking.
But lately, I’ve been rediscovering the value of ACTS prayer.
Rediscovering ACTS prayer
It started one morning when I woke with a prayer heavy on my heart. I was tempted to dive straight into my request, but instead, I wrote in my journal, “Who is God?”
In light of this situation, who is He? How does He see it? What can He do?
I wrote, “He is good, compassionate, able. In the past, He has been faithful. He will be faithful again. None of this is unknown to Him. He plans to use all of it, not only in my life but in the lives of everyone around me. Wisdom and patience pour from Him.”
As I dwelt on these things, the weight lifted. And, I became acutely aware of the anxiety I was carrying, the ways I hoped to manipulate the situation. The most natural thing to do was confess that, something much easier to do in light of God’s goodness to me.
Buoyed by seeing Him, and being right with Him, I found myself thanking Him for the anticipated path I saw this situation taking. Gratitude for the answer I knew He would provide, even if it wasn’t what I might think I want.
When I finally got around to actually bringing my request to God, it came from such a different place. I felt full of faith and hope-such a stark contrast to how I began.
How ACTS changes us
Yes, God deserves our praise. For all He is, this should be our first and more frequent posture toward Him.
But adoration does something in us too. It reminds us of what is true: about Him, about us, about our circumstances. [ictt-tweet-inline]Worship is like dusting off the window so we can see life clearly again and move in the right direction, toward Him. [/ictt-tweet-inline]We see what is most true.
And in light of who He is, I see myself rightly. I see how I have tried to be God in this situation. My soul needs to be purged of that untruth. [ictt-tweet-inline]Confession sets things right in us, lets us off the hook as savior of our worlds.[/ictt-tweet-inline]
Gratitude flows from hearts that anticipate His goodness, even before we lay our requests before Him. [ictt-tweet-inline]When our lenses are filled with more of Him and less of us, it makes sense to thank Him for what He will do.[/ictt-tweet-inline]
At that point, supplication (seriously, can we make this a thing?: “I’ve been supplicating for you!”) becomes almost an afterthought.
So I’ve been doing this more regularly lately. Not paying my dues, but changing my heart and mind back to where they belong. Redirecting my prayers not to earn an answer but to be confident in it. Making my focus not an outcome but a connection with Him.
On this day of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d start out with a list of what I’m thankful for.
As I reflect, I’m overwhelmed by my gifts. Really, I’m #blessed beyond measure.
Why I’m Thankful
See, I woke up this morning in my own bed. There was a roof over my head without a single leak in it. Our AC works when it’s hot, and I have covers when it’s cool. Thank God.
I woke up with full possession of all my faculties. My eyes worked. There was breath in my lungs. All my senses were available to me. I awoke pain-free. Thank God.
There was running water in my house, even clean enough to drink. Our electricity is on too, which is awesome. We live in this house that is more space than we need. On top of that, we can afford the mortgage on it. Thank God.
I’ll admit, we had no milk, but we didn’t go without because the cupboards are stocked with plenty of food. Nothing in our house is currently broken, but if it was, we can probably afford to fix it. Thank God.
Since we don’t have to walk miles to get water or find food, I had time to sit and read. Y’all-I can read! Wow, I’m grateful for that. I can read and write, and I had leisure time to do it. Thank God.
Our son needed pants since apparently living two hours north is much colder than here (especially when he rides the electric skateboard he is blessed to have that gets him around the campus where he’s privileged to learn). So we got into a car that we can afford gas for, and that runs great, and drove to the store. Thank God.
And at the store, we used phones to stay in touch with each other, and a gift card to offset the cost, and we found what he needed and then some, and we didn’t have to think about what we might have to give up to be able to wear clothes. Thank God.
Friends, I could go on and on. And this is just the bare minimum. Because for the most part, every day I wake up all these things are true, and those alone should make me the most grateful person alive.
More to Be Thankful For
I didn’t even begin to express my gratitude for the people in my life-my husband, who is kind, trustworthy, and supportive. Or our kids, who are just my favorite people on the planet and make us proud every single day. Our church, community group, neighbors, and dear friends-these great people who do life with us. Did I mention I have a new nephew? I do. He’s the cutest. My family is such a blessing. Thank God.
I didn’t mention that I enjoy what I do for a living. What I do feels more like love than work. My mind still can’t wrap about the fact that this time next year I will be a published author. I’m also grateful that I can spend part of my time home raising my kids. Thank God.
And when I’m not working, I can afford to play. I have passions and gifts and interests, and the time to enjoy them. Thank God.
Above all, I have Jesus. Everything I’ve mentioned could disappear, but not Him. Not what He’s given me. Salvation alone is more than enough, more than I deserve.
And yet He gives still more. Every morning the breath in my lungs, all that I am able to see, the abilities I have, are all unexpected, unmerited gifts. Joy, peace, grace, mercy, and love are poured over me daily. Thank God.
Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful. Some seasons knock the wind out of us. It’s tough to be grateful in the middle of a storm.
But even in the storm, we have much. Let’s start there. Let’s be thankful.
I’m the kind of girl who focuses on the end goal-not much for taking in the scenery. I was reminded of this last summer while on vacation near the Smokey Mountains.
One morning our group of 14 ventured out in several cars to go whitewater rafting. In our car was one person who insisted on stopping for “real” coffee (I don’t know what this means. I don’t understand coffee), so we lagged behind the others.
The arranger of our trip wanted us on a tight schedule, so we weren’t exactly starting the day off on the right foot. The optimists in the car were sure we could make up the time (I was not one of them).
But then our route took us through the mountains, and they just kept getting more beautiful. The higher we drove, the more breathtaking it became. It was criminal not to stop and take it in.
With each stop, I was conscious that the rest of our group was waiting for us. The timekeeper in me nagged a little, but was silenced by views like this:
And this:
With each stop, I realized that while what was waiting for us at the end of the trip was exciting, the journey was just as amazing as the destination. If we only focused on the end, we would have missed the beauty along the way.
What We Can Find on the Journey
How easy it is to live so much in anticipation of what lies ahead that we miss what is here. It’s not about the destination; it’s about what we experience on the way.
If we are people who only look ahead, we never really arrive. Or if we rush along the way, never stopping to take in the view, we rob ourselves of joy in the journey.
Because there’s good along the way. There are things we should stop and celebrate. We can stop and measure for a minute how far we’ve come, even if we have far to go. We can enjoy the greater and greater views.
In the journey of faith, slowing down helps us see what God is doing. Taking time to look around leads to worship and gratitude. Seeing that we are not where we were reminds us that God is faithful. It gives us courage and hope that He will keep working. God isn’t anxious for us to be “done.” He loves us every step of the way.
What are the stones of remembrance that mark my walk with God? How can I stop, celebrate, and give Him glory for what He’s doing in me? I might still have far to go, but the view keeps getting better. That’s worth rejoicing in.
Recently, my husband and I tried to arrange a night out with some good friends. He suggested staying in, and I replied, “Oh, you know how he is-he’ll want to go out instead.” And it hit me: I love that I know this person. He’s someone I did not know prior to life in Orlando. I love that God has given us not just new, but dear, dear friends.
Life feels good right now. Our cups are full. That’s more precious after the rough transition we had to Orlando. We have history here, good history. It is a season of joy, a time to revel in the rich harvest of this place God has given us.
So the natural question becomes: how can we make the most of this?
Because life doesn’t stay put for long. God keeps leading us to new seasons, and some of them are tough. Here’s what God has been encouraging me to do in this time:
5 things to do when life is good
Rest
Transition takes a toll. Chances are, it took some climbing to get to this spot. God gives us times when our souls can rest. Take a deep breath and look around. Get to know this new landscape God created. Don’t spend energy looking back at what you left, and don’t waste it trying to prepare for what might be ahead. Just be all here.
Give thanks
The practice of gratitude is so essential to navigating transition well. When it’s over, it’s tempting to forget where all this goodness comes from. Thank God for bringing you to this place and for every little blessing that you see. Celebrate the heck out of it! The other day I made a list of things I’m grateful for, and I felt God’s absolute pleasure in giving them to me. It’s His joy to bring us to wide open spaces. Realize that fact and respond.
Remember others
It wasn’t long ago that we were the new people, the ones without community or roots. Those people are all around us, hungry for connection. We could be the one to meet their needs. Remember what it felt like to not be in this place, and ask God to lead you to grab others by the hand and walk well with them. We can give them the strength we feel right now.
Bear witness
When you’re in the storm of transition, it’s hard to remember that there are places of abundance, solid ground to stand on. Scripture says a good word from a distant land brings hope. We can be that good word to others. Sometimes we’re discouraged from sharing about being in places of blessing when others are struggling. But bearing witness is about giving credit to God, and reminding all of us of His goodness.
Let it fuel the future
Life changes constantly, and what carries us through is remembering that God is our anchor. Like I said in my New Year’s post, we look back so we can look forward. Like the Israelites passing over the Jordan, mark this place so that in the future storms that come, you remember His faithfulness. You will expect Him to bring you back to places like this.
When life is good, and our cups are full, we let them overflow.
Overflow with gratitude to the Giver of all good things. Spill the joy you feel into the lives of those around you. Satisfy the thirsty souls who are struggling. Fill your own soul for the journeys to come.
Are you in transition right now? Here’s a podcast I did on transitioning well, including a summary of 10 practices that help us navigate transition wholeheartedly.
I mean not really, but it feels like it sometimes. It’s not unusual for me to spend 3-4 hours driving on a given day. And suffice to say it’s not my favorite activity.
Lately, though, my perspective on my mobile prison has been changing.
I’m coming to appreciate this time. After all, usually it means I’ve got kids in the car-not just mine but others. I am privy to conversations they have with one another, about subjects I would otherwise not know. Other times it’s just me and my own kids, talking, laughing, observing, and just existing together. It might be the only time of the day I have their undivided attention, and they mine.
This is also a forced time of solitude. I do some of my best thinking, blog post/book brainstorming, praying, and, naturally, just talking to myself, in the car. I can’t multi-task in here (truth be told, I am writing this post in my car. Yep, I’ve just given up trying to exist in my house). I have to slow down and just be.
Someday I won’t have to spend this much time driving.
I will miss that time with my kids, eavesdropping on their lives. The silence it affords allows me to actually hear myself think. I will have to carve out other time for prayer and pondering, find other ways to be unhurried.
So I could look at all these hours as wasted, or I could see how God is redeeming this time. I could write them off as an inconvenience or I could be thankful for what it brings to my life.
It’s all in how I look at it.
This is true of so many aspects of my life. I despise cooking (is there a stronger word than despise? I would use it), but I’m thankful I have people for whom to cook. Cooking reminds me I don’t have to be the best at something in order to still be a blessing.
I’m not a fan of how much work our house requires, but boy am I glad we have one. I wish there were a way I could clean my house and have it stay that way, but the cleaning humbles me and gives me an opportunity to bless the ones I love.
I would gladly never look another receipt, budget, or anything else related to our finances again. But when I do, I am reminded that we are so very blessed to have what we need, and more.
I wish I didn’t have the responsibility of feeding and walking a dog, but I know how much I would miss her company. She slows me down and forces me to get out into nature. She literally helps me stop and smell the flowers.
Working with people is hard, but what a blessing to have meaningful work. The problems that arise are an opportunity to move toward others with truth and love. The challenges keep me dependent on God.
I would love a struggle-free life, but the trials are what keep me returning to Him. They highlight my humanity and His divinity, and remind me that I always have a place to go for what I need.
What’s the thing in your life you wish you didn’t have to do?
What asks more than you feel like you can give? What road would you rather not walk?
Maybe it’s changing diapers or grocery shopping or homework or conflict management at work or driving all over kingdom come. Maybe it’s something much more wearying and painful.
Whatever it is, none of it is wasted. Someday we will look back and see the blessing in it, God’s hand at work, how it changed us for good.
So why wait? Why not look now for the blessing? Why not choose to see how it can be used for good? It might be a challenge, like panning for gold. But it’s there. God redeems it all. He uses it all.
This is the month of the year when we are reminded to be thankful. Pinterest is cluttered with suggestions for ways to count our blessings. At work one year, someone put up a thankfulness tree, and a sign inviting others to write on a leaf and add to it. Among the turkey and pilgrim decorations are plates and napkins and signs bearing the word, “Thanks.” But the fact is, sometimes, it’s hard to feel thankful.
Sometimes we have seasons when the blessings are hard to see. The job is stressful, and you wonder if it’s even where you belong. Your kids are struggling in school. The loneliness lingers, or your marriage feels old and empty. Depression is a cloud you can’t shake. The test is positive, or negative. Sometimes the hard is so overwhelming the thought of looking for the good feels beyond our reach.
At times like that, when we don’t feel grateful, what do we do?
We pan for gold.
Now I’ve never actually panned for gold, but I imagine that it is hard work. Time-consuming. It requires great focus and a trained eye to look for the smallest bits of gold in the mud. All your energy goes into finding that precious metal. Those willing to look harder found more.
So when I’m in a season where it doesn’t feel like the gold nuggets are right there for the taking, I imagine myself as a gold miner (side note: I HATE the word nugget. Hate. It.). I take more time to look a little harder, sift my life around a little more, asking where I do see Him at work. I look for the smallest blessings. Sometimes I start with, “I am alive today.”
And then I thank Him for them. I thank Him for food, clothes, shelter, health and all that I take for granted every day. It’s good to start there.
The more we pan for gold, the better we become at finding it. We see gold in a kind word, a safe drive, a quiet moment. It’s found in sunrises, fresh air, and every day we get to start again.
We are not asked to give thanks for every circumstance but in every circumstance. Whatever the season brings, there’s gold in them there hills. We can be grateful people in the midst of trial, heartache, pain.
Seek out the evidence of goodness mixed in with the dirt of hardship. Search for the reminders that we are never forsaken, even when the road is rough. His blessings carry us. Pan for gold, friends. Our lives are rich.
Last week I took a trip to hell, also known as swimsuit shopping. Not only do you have to see what your half-naked body looks like wrapped in variously fitting and oftentimes unflattering spandex, but you get to do it in a room designed by a sadist. Who thought fluorescent lighting in dressing rooms was a good idea?
But I was determined to not let it ruin me.
First of all, I felt I would greatly benefit from having this girl with me:
And then I thought maybe I should just BE this girl.
I decided that whatever thoughts came to mind about what I was seeing in the mirror, I would focus on what I love. Then again, love can sometimes feel like a stretch. But grateful? I can definitely be grateful for what I have.
Why I’m Grateful as I Swimsuit Shop
Gratitude reminds me that I can stand up and shop on my own, without help.
I live in a place where women are free to wear what they want. That’s a privilege many live without.
This body has housed my soul, been its barometer reminding me when I need to eat, sleep, breathe, for over 40 years. It tells me when we’re not doing well, which is kind. I want to be kind in return.
I am thankful even for my stretch marks because they mean I have been blessed to carry two babies.
The shape of my body means I have never gone hungry, when so many do.
How grateful I am for a husband who praises my body when I know there are women who are demeaned because of theirs.
I am thankful that I have the opportunity to rest and refresh myself, giving rise to the need for this suit.
Thank God I have money to buy a suit since I pulled a Gina and forgot to bring any of the three I already own (and thank God for 60% off sales).
And on and on.
Gratitude can surround our hearts like a shield, protecting us from that which would tear us down.
As we gather the pieces of what we can celebrate, our eyes are turned off what we lack and onto how we are blessed.
I survived my swimsuit shopping. Actually, I more than survived. Gratitude kept my head above the water, like a lifesaver made from grace. It keeps us afloat in the deepest waters.
This week I fed our kids brown, free range eggs I bought from a neighbor, the first batch of regular eggs we plan to buy from her. Nothing wildly amazing about that on the surface (except oh sweet mama are they good!) but to me it is a victory. Why? Because it is one more small way I feel like I can see a good future here.
I have never witnessed the aftermath of a major storm, but I imagine that the first focus must be pragmatic – get the electricity running, the houses back together, the cracks filled. Do the things that must be done for life to function. What often cannot be rushed is for it to feel normal again, and for life to return. I’m talking about the animals rebuilding nests and the foliage coming back. It take time for a place to feel life-giving again.
Lately, I feel like I can look around and see the buds appearing. I see places where I can see a future. Our son started a new sport at school that he hopes to do all four years until he graduates. He came home from the first practice and said, “Mom, I finally feel like part of a group again.” And the people rejoiced. I walk into church and I know the majority of the people. How did that happen? The straw bales are in place for our garden and have decided to start growing grass without my permission or encouragement. Hey, at least they can grow something! I’m in a project at work I hope will continue long term. It feels like everything is coming up green.
The best part of losing something is that when you get it again, it tastes sweeter. That’s how this feels. I am doubly thankful because I know what it’s like to have been without. There’s new life all around.
